the beauty of the sound / edmund pevensie

forty nine

I was barely able to move off the floor with my bloody hands. I could barely reach over and turn on the radio as it talked about the train wreck.

No survivors. The man's voice echoed throughout my head. All my family is gone. My other half is gone. I am gone.

My heartbeat seems confused not being able to beat alongside Edmund's. I can't feel him. I feel nothing.

It feels like I can barely breath, or think.

My heart feels like an endless void in my chest.

It's as if I was a body lying open on an operating table as the ominous sound of my heart flat-lining filled the room.

I feel lifeless.

I lay on my side staring at the wall as tears silently slip down my cheeks.

The once vibrant colors of the roses outside our window now seem dull. My mind is fuzzy, clouded by the pain that now lingered there. I could barely stand on my own two feet for I was numb, yet still in pain.

My heart ached painfully. It's as if this pain was a dark, black goo that had fully covered itself around my heart, squeezing it tightly.

Edmund is dead. Edmund is dead. Edmund is dead. Edmund is dead. Edmund is dead. Edmund is dead. Edmund is dead. Edmund is dead. Edmund is dead. Edmund is dead. Edmund is dead.

My breathing suddenly became rapid as I struggled to take in oxygen. I tried my best to sit up as I gulped for air.

My hands clutched onto the headboard of our bed as I struggled to regain my breath. I rested a hand on my chest as I tried to breath in and out.

When my breathing went back to normal, the violent sobs came back. My throat felt as though it was being ripped to shreds as I screamed.

"Why!" I yelled as I looked up at the ceiling. I feel anger, so much anger.

I should have gone with him. I can't live without him. I cannot do this without him. He was my life support, but now he's gone and I can barely breath.

Tears rapidly fell down my cheeks as I felt my throat close up. I eventually gave up trying to get my breathing back to normal. I collapsed onto the bed once again and kept my blur vision on the white ceiling above.

The day's began to bleed into each other. I'm not sure how long I stayed there in bed, but I don't care. I'm too broken to stand on my own. Too scared to even think about living my life without him. Too anger to focus on anything but the pain I feel.

However, at some point my tired eyes fell shut, almost like they had been forced down before I fell asleep.

...

"Nellie. Nellie!" An all too familiar voice called my name as I ran through the hall of Cair Parvavel.

"Edmund!" I yelled back as I lifted up the skirt of my maroon colored dress in order to help me run faster throughout the halls.

My hair flew over my shoulders as I ran.

"Nell!" This time the voice was Penny.

I stopped running and looked all around me before hearing another voice. "Come to us!" Theo yelled.

I ran towards the sound of his voice and eventually I found myself running into the throne room.

I gasped quietly when I saw Peter, Theo, Peter, Mom, Helen, Lucy, and Edmund all standing there, waiting for me.

I felt my eyes burn as Edmund and I made eye contact. "Eddie." I whispered as I slowly walked towards him.

He gave me a sad smile when I reached out of touch him, only to have my hand go through him.

"W-What?" I said quietly.

"I'm not alive anymore, love." He said softly as we made eye contact again. I looked over his shoulder to see everyone looking at us.

"What happened?" I asked quietly, too afraid to speak louder.

Mom walked forward. "It was a train wreck. We didn't feel any pain."

"It was like waking up from a dream." Lucy smiled at me.

"Where's Susan?" I asked them as I walked closer to them.

Peter looked down with a frown on his face. "She's not a friend of Narnia anymore. She stopped believing in it. That's why she didn't go on the train with us. That's why she didn't pass on with us."

My eyebrows nearly touched with confusion. "B-But what about me? Why am I still alive? I still believe in Narnia!" My voice got louder as I got more frustrated.

"You still have a purpose in that world." Penny said as she came to stand in front of me. She held my hand, even though I could not feel it.

"You have to help make Susan believe in Narnia again. That way we can all be together." Theo said as he stood beside Peter.

"How am I suppose to make her believe again?" I asked.

Peter shrugged. "We don't know, but you'll figure something out." Tears began to blur my vision once more.

"I can't." I whispered as I turned away from them. "I can't."

"Yes you can, Nellie." Edmund said as he came to stand in front of me.

I looked up at him as tears fell down my cheeks. "I-I don't know how to live without you." I whispered as I cried.

Edmund brought his hand up to my cheek and gently rubbed it even though I felt nothing.

"Yes you can." He told me with a small smile. "Eleanor Beesly can do anything."

I smiled softly before looking down at my feet while I twisted my wedding ring around my finger a few times.

"I'll be with you through everything." Edmund said gently.

"We all will." Mom said causing me to turn my head towards the others.

"Nellie." Edmund said and I turned to him. He cupped my cheeks again. "Wake up."

...

not edited <3