I promise that when I cross my arms
I'm not trying to keep you out
I'm doing my best to keep me in.
I'm trying to keep myself up,
Myself together.
I'm trying to live with open arms
It's just that this looks too much like giving my heart away,
Too much like reaching out,
Too much like letting go.
This looks too much like vulnerability,
Like reaching out for a hand that's not there.
It's too much like freedom,
like flying away,
Like falling again.
Like victory,
Like reaching the top
Like getting let down
Like holding out for an embrace,
Like getting slapped in the face
This looks way too much like surrender.
And I'm sorry but
That's just not me.
