People say I'm smart,
but I don't read for knowledge,
I read for art.
I'm a romantic, not an intellectual.
I'm not clever because I use more than one brain cell.
People say I'm pretty,
so I guess I must be.
A lot of good it ever did me.
Pretty won't get me through school,
get me a car,
make me a plan -
pretty didn't even help me hold onto a man.
Can't hold onto my boyfriend,
my dog,
my job,
my friends,
my virginity.
But hey,
at least I'm really pretty.
My nails and hair are done,
nice shoes, nice dress.
I decorate the outside when I feel like a mess.
(It's important to look put together when you're falling apart)
Someone told me,
"If I were you I'd never stop smiling,
or looking in the mirror,
because you're so beautiful."
Well, you're not me.
And I just can't see what you see,
I don't understand why everyone thinks I'm so freaking happy.
When I look in the mirror
I don't smile, I stare.
When I look in the mirror
I want to pull out my hair.
When I look in the mirror I want to cry.
When I look in the mirror I want to die.
I've always wondered what it'd feel like
to have a bullet go through my head.
That's something I've thought,
but never said.
I guess that's not a very "pretty" thing to say.
Not very happy,
very smart,
very Christian.
I look in the mirror and wonder where I went.
I wonder what the hell happened.
Don't get me wrong,
I know who I am.
but I know who I was.
I can see the girl I was just a year ago,
and the little girl I used to be.
I recognize them,
but I know they don't recognize me.
Because I've done things
we swore not to do.
I've lost things
we promised to hold on to.
They wouldn't call me beautiful.
They wouldn't call me smart.
They'd call me a pretty picture
with a very ugly heart.
