Kari's Drabbles

It's Always Too Late

This world will never be,
What I expected,
And if I don't belong,
Who would have guessed it?

She's crying again. She won't tell him what's wrong. Why would she? She never tells him anything anyway, so what does it matter? He looks at the two little girls playing in the living room. They ask questions about their mother, but how can he answer if he doesn't know the answer himself? When he first fell in love with her, this isn't what he thought his life was going to be like. He regrets it, but he can't just leave her....can he?

I will not leave alone,
Everything that I own,
To make you feel like,
It's not too late,
It's never to late,

Daddy won't talk about mommy. Daddy says mommy is going through a tough spot. I can tell he's lying. Mommy isn't well. She never has been. I see the pictures she draws, though daddy tries to hide them. They're bloody and scary. Hannah hasn't seen them,, but I have. Whenever mommy comes out of her room, she smiles at me, but it's a sad smile. I think mommy needs someone to cheer her up, but she keeps herself locked in her room. It's like she wants to block everyone out. Including me and Hannah. Mommy's not well. Not well at all.

Even if I say,
It'll be alright,
Still I hear you say,
You want to end your life,

I found her again. Locked in the bedroom, knife at her wrist. It's getting worse, but she denies it. I ripped the knife out of her hand and she tried to take it back. She went to put it to her wrist again, but I pinned her down onto the bed where she had been sitting.
"You need to stop this!" I told her.
"Why?" she asked back. Her eyes were blank of emotion and her voice was quiet. This was a side I'd never seen from her. I had started getting used to it, but there had been more scars, more blood. It needed to stop.
"Why should I stop? They'll come back...they'll take you away from me. They'll take the girls....they'll come back....they'll kill us!"she almost shouted, trying to struggle free. She started hitting me and I grabbed her hands.
"Eliza, Eliza, ELIZA!!" I pinned her hands down.

Now and again we try,
To just stay alive,
Maybe we'll turn it all around,
'Cause it's not too late,
It's never to late,

I heard daddy and mommy yelling in their room. There was noise coming from the bed and banging on the walls. It was like this only when mommy was doing bad things. I sat in the window pane. Hannah mumbled, waking up. She looked over at me.
"What're you doing up?" she asked, coming over to me.
"Mommy and daddy are yelling again." I said quietly.
"Yeah, so? They yell all the time." Hannah shrugged.
I turned to her. She blinked in surprise when she saw me crying.
"I think daddy's done. I....heard him muttering....saying he was gonna take us away." I said. "Does that mean he and mommy are gonna break up?" I asked. Hannah pulled me into her arms and I cried into her shoulder. "Of course not....of course not...." she said softly, trying to calm me down.

No one will ever see,
This side reflected,
And if there's something wrong,
Who would have guessed it?

Eliza still tried to escape my grasp.
"Eliza, listen to me!" I hissed. I took her face in my hands to make her look at me. Her eyes were filled with fear I'd never seen in her before, and her breathing was heavy. "No one is going to hurt us, okay? No one is going to lay a hand on those girls, and I certainly won't let anything happen to you, alright?" I told her. "Do you remember what I told you when we were first together?" I asked. She nodded. "What did I say?"
"Th-that you'd p-protect me...." she said quietly.
"And I will. I'm a man of my word. I said it then, and I'll say it now. I. Will. Protect. You. If anyone wants yo, they'll have to get through me first. Okay?"

And I have left alone,
Everything I own,
To make you feel like,
It's not too late,
It's never too late,

Daddy took me and Hannah to the park the next day. He invited mommy, but she said she was too tired to do anything. Daddy rolled his eyes, and led us to the park. I sat on the swings most the time we were there. It wasn't the same without mommy, even though Hannah kept dragging me around. Daddy didn't look too entertained either. He looked tired. After about an hour of Hannah dragging me around the playground, daddy said it was time to go. When we got home though....

Even if I say,
It'll be alright,
Still I hear you say,
You want to end your life,
Now and again we try,
To just stay alive,

I sent the girls to their room when we got home, so I could check on Eliza. She wasn't in the bedroom, so I checked the bathroom. She was there; lying on the floor, unconscious. She was beat up badly, black and blue bruises on her face and most of her body. She was bleeding, as if she'd been stabbed. I found the knife that was used half flushed down the toilet.
"Dammit!" I swore, trying to stop the bleeding. I got out my phone to call 911, only to see she had tried to call me. My phone had been on silent.
I listened to the last message she'd left. It was a bunch of screaming and pounding sounds. The last line stuck out as I gritted my teeth.
"You said you'd protect me....so where are you when I need you most?"

Maybe we'll turn it all around,
'Cause it's not too late,
It's never to late

Doctors and nurses rushed to help mommy, but I heard words like "won't make it" and "nothing we can do." I turned to daddy. "Mommy's gonna make it, right?" I asked. Daddy picked me up, watching the doctors run around.
"I hope so princess....I hope so..."

The world we knew,
Won't come back,
The time we've lost,
Can't get back,
The life we had,
Won't be ours again,
This world will never be,
What I expected,
And if I don't belong...

I know my minutes are ticking away, I can feel it.If this is death, this silence, this painless feeling, out of body experience, I welcome it. I welcome it fully. There's no light at the end of the tunnel, but I don't care. This is bliss. No one is chasing me, I don't feel weight on my shoulders, I love it. But something is pulling me away, a voice in the darkness.
Tears are in the voice, as it begs me to come back Why should I? In death, there's nothing holding me down. I have all the freedom I ever wanted! Why would I give this up!?

Even if I say,
It'll be alright,
Still I hear you say,
You want to end your life,
Now and again we try,
To just stay alive,

Her eyes were shut, so I could tell her life was draining from her, and fast. I took her hand in mine. This was the girl he had intended to use as prey. This was the girl who I loved. The mother of my children. My determined, blabber mouthed, stubborn, easy-to-cry, impossible yet lovable fiancee. We'd been through hell and back, and we'd fought together back to back more than one couple should.
We'd both been through so much, how could she leave me so easily? What had I done to lose her so soon? What kind of Dark Prince am I if I couldn't protect my Princess?

Maybe we'll turn it all around,

I watched daddy go into the surgery room where they had taken mommy. He took her hand in his...

'Cause it's not too late,

Why did it have to be her? Why Eliza? She didn't deserve to have her life end this way...

It's never too late,

Teardrops? Someone is crying? Over me? Why? I don't deserve people's tears...

Maybe we'll turn it all around,

I saw daddy fall to his knees next to mommy's bed. It looked as if he was crying. Poor daddy.....

'Cause it's not too late,

"Eliza, I'm so sorry I couldn't protect you....please don't leave me....not like this..."

It's never too late...