Don't Let Me Go (A 1D Fanfic)

 Don't Let Me Go  Pt39

 Don't Let Me Go 

Pt39

Hayden's p.o.v

Every part of my body began to ache. It felt like I was in a dream. No, not a dream, a nightmare. I wanted to pinch myself, to make myself wake up, but I couldn't, this was reality. And boy did it hit me hard.

It was all over.

I wanted to lie, but I just couldn't anymore. El knew the truth, and who knew what she'd do with it. "El, let me explain" I said trying to touch her shoulder but she shook my hand off.

"Explain what Hayden? How you lied to all of us? How this 'sister' of yours doesn't exist and it's you with Leukemia? Why the HELL aren't you in the hospital?" she screamed. It felt weird to have one of my best friends yelling at me. But I swallowed all her words, nodding patiently, constantly reminding myself I deserved it all.

"You don't understand..." "You're right, I don't. And let me guess, you're gonna want me to keep this from them? Do you have ANY clue how much you're hurting Harry and he doesn't even know yet? What am I supposed to say at your funeral? That I didn't know anything about this at all? No Hayden. I can't do that. I can't live with that kind of guilt. I don't know how the hell you do it" she hissed. El was mad, No, not mad... Furious.

I could see the pain, sorrow, and fiery in her eyes, and all I wanted to do was hug her. I took a deep breath in. "If you just give me time, I'll tell him, I have been planning to, I'm just waiting for the right time" I sighed while a tear trickled down my rosy cheek.

"Oh yeah? What if you pick a day too late. You can't leave him without giving him any answers. He loves you. Why can't you see you're hurting everyone around you? You're supposed to be my best friend... And tell me everything Hayden" she sniffled. I looked down at the ground.

"El you honestly think this is easy for me? I'm going to be dead in three months and I know I can't spend the rest of my life with the person I love, like every other normal person. You and Louis get to grow old together and have babies.

I can't do that. I just wanted a few months to enjoy life. I never asked for any of this to happen. If you want, I'll just call him right now and tell him the truth" I sniffled while picking up my phone, but El was faster and snapped it out of my hands.

"No you can't do that" she sighed. I looked at her confused. "If you tell him while he's on Tour, there's no way he'll be able to perform, and management can sue you" I looked into her brown eyes, trying to find some kind of soft spot.

I needed her to be on my side. I can't be alone. I just can't. "As upset as I am at you right now, I'm not going to tell. I'll try my best. It's not my right, but yours. You WILL tell him the minute his tour is over" she said stickily. I nodded in agreement, and ran over to her with my arms open.

We cried for over an hour in each others arms just talking about how close we had gotten in the past few months, and how we couldn't believe it would all end. She continuously asked me questions as to why I did leave the hospital. That answer was always the simplest of all the questions asked.

I'd rather die happy living life then live a longer life but always be trapped in that hospital. El had truly been there for me from the start, and it made me regret not telling her right away. In some way... she understood.

Kristen took it so well compared to El. Maybe because Kristen had three years to prepare herself for my death. But tragedy was a new concept for the perfect life of Eleanor Calder.

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Author's Note: Wow! Okay, so a lot happened in this chapter. I really hope you guys enjoyed it. Please don't forget to vote and fan. Thank you!

-Fizzy :)