sunshine • myg + jhs

07

"really i didn't remember. the way the questions were flying made me somehow."
"mhm so. if you were to like this hoseok. what would be your favorite thing about him?"
"jimin i don't like-"
"if you were to like him."
i huff and roll my eyes.
"c'mon you know i always get what i want. make it easier on each of us and just stop fighting it."
"okay fine. he's smart. he has a very attractive mind, but doesn't flaunt it. doesn't make that what defines him. most smart people are assholes about it. and he's not the typical smart either. he's observant. and not self obsessed like most people. he takes time to look at your habits and the way you move and things like that. pick out the little details of a person and take the time to trace them back to why. the way he words his sentences, you can tell he thinks before he speaks because like i said he's observant and doesn't want to press on your sores. which if i liked him, would be attractive. just the way he's so considerate. and the way his voice takes its time getting out and the way it sounds on the way. he has this happy little thwang. he's joyful. like a little ray of sunshine. or bundle of hope that you just want to stick inside your pocket but can't because that's where your cigarettes live and he hates those. he absolutely hates them. every time i see him it's because i'm smoking. like i wanna just ask him, dude are you following me? in the past fourty eight hours i've known him, every time we've met, minus the first time, it was while i was taking a smoke. he fucking snatches them away and puts them out. and then makes his point of why by running in front of the car making me save his ass saying, i do it because i care. i'm not letting you kill yourself in front of my eyes. but he cares so much for so little time. like. okay if you didn't know me, and you thought i smelt nice but looked mean, you'd wanna stay on my good side, right?"
"yes because i do know you. you are mean. just so cruel. like a kitty. all big and ferocious and scary looking and stuff."
"oh hush. i'm serious, you'd want to stay on a strangers good side because i could be a murderer for all you know. so why just, yeet, and swipe my cigarette? like how do you care so much when i've been such a prick! but. i guess if i were to like him it'd be nice. and he's pretty. very pretty. i saw him shirtless today and the way he was carved. just so flawless. and i didn't look for that long, to be respectful, but i saw what i needed. and his face is so well made. if i were to like him, i could stare for hours and not get bored. he's like art. just so... intricate. so many aspects that play into one human. i'd love them all, if i were to like them. because they all make up him. pretty, smart, beautifully carved him."
i take a breath and hang my head.
realizing.
"you-"
"yup."
"AWWWW"
"shut up! don't make fun of me! and cookies, jimin. don't let them ruin."
he puts mits on to stop himself from getting burned, and gets our cookies out.
"so, what are you going to do? are you going to talk to him?" he asks sitting them on the counter top and taking the mits off of his tiny hands.
"he probably doesn't want to talk to me. i wasn't really nice to him."
"yoongi. apologize, from the way you speak of him, he'll accept."
i laugh.
"apologize? me? have you met me jimin? i haven't said a non-sarcastic apology in decades. i don't know how."
"welp. first time for everything. or you can loose him forever and only see him at Mister's and hope that he talks to you."
i take a moment of silence to process what he'd said, remembering hoseok's words at the same time.
"jimin?"
"yeah?"
"i love you. you know me. and i'm okay with that. i want you to know me. deep down i don't want to die alone."
he smiles and rewraps his arms around me.
"you won't bud. you got me. i'm here."
"but everyone who says that..."
"don't let your past define your future, min yoongi. it's in the past for a reason. it's no longer occurring. give life a chance. give trust a chance. it's going to be okay."
i take a breath and sink into the hug.
"okay." i say tears pricking at my eyes. "i trust you."