sunshine • myg + jhs

13

i fade in and out of reality.
bright lights.
nothing.
people surrounding me.
nothing.
jimin and hoseok.
nothing.
when i finally fully recover, i'm blinded by white lights.
"shit," i breathe out bringing my hands to my eyes.
pain strikes me as i move though.
"hey, hey, hey. don't hurt yourself. a fractured rib, be easy."
i look over.
a blurry, but still visibly busted up, hoseok meets my gaze.
"i'll kill him," i try to sit up, but my vision goes completely white because of the pain.
"i said easy, yoongi. so please, please be easy. i don't want you hurt anymore than you already are,"
his face is clearer now.
busted lip.
black eye.
bruised nose.
my fault.
tears prick my eyes like cactus needles as a familiar cramp forms in my jaw.
i look away.
"i told you to leave. i didn't want you hurt. why didn't you listen? you put your life in jeopardy. you have no idea what he's capable of."
"i didn't listen because i got a pretty good idea of his intentions when he punched you for kissing me. jimin called 119 and jungkookie called 112. the police took him away. you don't have to deal with it anymore. he's gone. and i beat the absolute shit out of him, by the way. when i saw you struggling so badly because of him, rage tore through my body."
"he hurt you. i wanted you and jimin and whats-his-face gone so he would have never gotten the chance. if i were to go, the problem would have gone as well. it wo-"
"shut up. i mean it; shut the fuck up. if you were gone everyone's life would be negatively impacted. Jimin's, Jungkook's, mine. we'd all be so hurt. so miserable without you. and you fucking know that. so shut the fuck up with all of that shit that you know isn't even close to true."
i stay silent.
he's never cursed at me before.
he turns me to face him.
i can't bare to see what i did to him, so i close my eyes.
tears forcing their way out as i do so.
"i'm so sorry," i say.
he swipes his thumb over my cheek, erasing my tears.
"don't be sorry. just know how cared for and loved you are."
that word.
haha.
nope.
never used it on someone like hoseok.
it's terrifying.
him calling me love is different.
it's just a name.
and me saying it to jimin is also different.
it's been five years.
he can't go anywhere, he would have by now.
hoseok, i trust him.
but i've learned that i trust too easy.
i shift in my spot.
pain stings throughout my torso.
"y-yeah thanks, hey do you know how long i have to be here?"
he kisses my forehead.
"a couple days. not too long, don't worry."
"are you going to stay here with me?"
he chuckles.
"i'm going home to get some things when jimin gets back, then i am, yes."
"is whatever-his-name-is staying too?"
"it's jungkook. and no."
"good," i say relieved.
"why do you hate him so much, if you don't mind me asking?"
i think back.
wow.
i'm a petty bitch.
"i guess it all started when him and jimin started getting close. i was still in love with jimin. and i had had him all to myself. to take care of and pamper and love. then this dude comes around and i barely get to talk to him anymore. but i love that jimin's happy. and it's not like i'm jealous anymore. but old habits die hard. and my old habit. is hating him,"
he kisses my cheek, "you act so mean. like you hate everyone all the time. but really you're so soft. all you want is love. you're like a little-"
"kitty. he's a kitty. hey babe, you okay?"
jimin's voice is always so sweet and elegant.
but his words anger me.
"i'm not a fucking cat. i'm not fucking soft. i'm not what you all think. i'm just fucking not, so stop thinking what you two are 'observing' is correct. because you're observing wrong. completely fucking wrong and i'm surprised you aren't embarrassed."
"damn buddy how long has it been since your last cigarette?"
hoseok holds up three fingers.
"explains it, anyway i brought you some of you're sweats and boxers and stuff. also ice cream and-" he pulls a package of nicotine patches out, "which now, i'm glad i got."
he ruffles my hair and puts the ice cream in the mini ice box by my bed.
he opens the nicotine patches and puts one on my arm.
"well now i feel fan-fucking-tasic. let me just say, it helps so much already. you know what fuck you," i say pointing at hoseok, "for coming into my life and giving me a reason to live it. and making me all happy and giddy every time i even think about you. you really just waltzed in here and flipped my world rightside up for the first time ever and made me regret all of the bad i've done to my respiratory system. who told you that was okay? hm? not i. twas not me."
he laughs and places his lips on mine.
he tastes of fresh mint and i regret cursing at him.
when he pulls away he looks at my eyes.
"better?"
"you smell good."
"i'll take that as a yes. now, i'm going to get my things now. i'll be back soon, love."
he kisses my forehead.
"okay, dear be safe." i say as he opens the door.
"kitty~" jimin sings.
hoseok chuckles.
"i will. you do the same. eat some ice cream. get some fluids in your system. get you're health back to... your version of normal."
i smile.
he cares.
it makes me feel all warm.
and happy.
"i will. bye bye. hurry back," he nods and exits the room.
it's only me and jimin.
he's scrolling on his phone, quietly humming a slow tune.
"fuck. i like him so much."
"i dunno man. that's a little gay."