sunshine • myg + jhs

21

his hands immediately grab onto a fluffy brown one.
"may we play with him?" he asks the woman.
"you can play with him and if you want to keep him, speak with me."
hoseok hugs the brown little fluff to his  chest and i smile as he sits on the ground.
"sit down! he wants to play!" hoseok orders.
i laugh and sit down across from him.
the small little pup runs to put his front paws on my shoulders and licks at my face.
i move away from it but he continues.
"he likes you!" hoseok exclaims.
"yeah i can tell,"
i fall to my back trying to get away from the tongue, but me crawls onto my chest and continues to lick at me.
"no, dog!" i command and he immediately stops and lies himself on my chest.
i look at hoseok and point at the dog.
"see," he says coming closer.
he runs his hand over the dogs fur.
i do the same.
then hoseok decides a calm dog is no fun and hits his palm gainst the grass.
the dog perks up and goes toward him.
he makes small roar sounds trying to play with the puppy and i just watch.
it's so pure.
so sweet and innocent.
it goes on for a long while.
so finally i decide that i want to see him this happy all the time.
i stand and go to talk with the woman.
hoseok doesn't pay it much mind.
"how much for him?" i ask.
she searches in the van for a moment.
"ah, here we go. he's updated on all his shots. he's healthy and almost a year old. and-"
"how much, noona?"
she looks at me and purses her lips.
she needs money.
i can tell.
she doesn't want to tell me though.
i don't care the amount though.
he'll be happy.
"600." she says.
"i'll give you nine."
she looks shocked.
"but why-"
"i said i'd give you nine. now do you take cre-"
before i even finish the word, her plug in credit card swiper is ready.
i pull out my wallet and wait for her to input the information then swipe my card.
"thank you. thank you so much."
there are tears in her eyes.
she reminds me of my mother.
that strikes sadness.
"please. don't cry. i'm happy to help."
tears begin to fall.
and i'm compelled to hug her.
why?
i'm so weird today.
i wrap my arms around her tiny frame and she wraps her arms around me.
"i'm so grateful for your generosity. you will be incredibly blessed, sir i know it," she says.
i don't want to let her go until she pushes away.
so i don't.
i let her hug me.
and hug me.
and hug me.
she cries a lot.
and i remember how hoseok just held me and let me cry when i was emotional with him.
so i do that for her.
i just hold her.
and when she does let go, she looks less run down.
her face seems lifted and although her eyes are a bit blood-shot, you can tell they are happy.
she rummages in the van a bit more and hands me a blue leash.
i smile.
"thank you,"
"please. please, don't thank me."
she bows and i do the same, then i turn back to hoseok who is staring at me.
fuck.
he's really going to think i'm a soft kitten now.
"you're so-"
i look at the ground expecting a compliment.
but i guess he remembers our argument about compliments so he stops himself.
"i love you."
i look up.
i can't get it out.
i want to.
but i don't want to hurt him.
or myself.
and if i say it i'll most likely end up hurting both in the long run.
so i resort to what i know.
being an asshole.
"i got him for me, what're you thinking?"
i swipe the puppy from his hands and lock his leash onto his collar before sitting him gently on the ground and walking away with him in front of me.
"i'm thinking that i didn't say that because you got the dog. i said it because you might have just saved that woman's life. she could have been starving and you just gave her-" he pauses and decides to reword his sentence. "you're the most caring man i've ever met min yoongi. and i'm sorry. that's a compliment. but it's the truth."
i turn around and he's closer than i'd thought he was.
his eyes stare down into mine and we're so close.
but i want to be closer.
"now you don't have to say it back. but i do min yoongi. i love you."
his lips connect with mine and i feel all of the bad tension in my body just melt away.
he's my safe place.
and i want to love him.
i just.
i don't know that concept yet.
he pulls away but his eyes stay locked with mine.
"want to go back home? my home?"
i nod.
"namjoon and jin-hyung are away. so maybe we'll finish what we started when we dyed your hair." he says starting towards his car.
i stop and look at him.
"i just remembered that you said i was your boyfriend." i say.
he stops as well and looks at me.
"is that a problem?"
"do you want me to be your boyfriend?"
i want to throw myself off of a bridge.
i sound like i'm in grade six.
he gets closer to me.
"i really, really, really want you to be my boyfriend, min yoongi."
"are you sure because i can kinda-"
i'm cut off by his lips on mine again.
a very passionate way to say stop rambling.
he pulls away.
"i'm absolutely, completely, and totally, positive."
i smile shyly.
"o-okay." i say as he takes my hand and we continue to his car.
my voice is squeaky.
i want to throw myself off of a bridge even more now.
'o-okay'
nice going you awkward little shit.
"stop thinking sour thoughts, you're precious!"
i look at him.
"what are sour thoughts? i've never thought one bad thing in my entire life. what?"
he laughs.
we get into his car and he turns on his radio before connecting his phone to it.
i look at him as i hear the beginning of counselor start to play.
he starts to say the words in perfect sync with San E and every little doubt in my body i had of him understanding my pain fades.
his brain doesn't match him either.
i look at him and the emotions he puts behind the words.
he gets it.
he fucking gets it.