sunshine • myg + jhs

20

i feel awful.
"i'm so sorry. for it all. i d-"
"yoongi, you don't have to say anything. it's okay. just take a breath." he says running his hand over the back of my head.
i do as told.
"one two three, remember?" jimin says rubbing my back.
"one two three. two three. three."
i open my eyes which i hadn't even realized had been closed.
"better?" jimin asks.
"a little."
he smiles and nods toward taehyung and what's-his-face who are sitting with their legs criscrossed on the ground playing with yeontan.
i take hoseok's hand and head back towards tae.
"you okay hyung?" jimin's boyfriend asks, standing up.
"ye-"
before i can finish his arms are around me.
taehyung's too.
i'm burried between them.
and they're strong so i can't push them away.
i struggle, and finally get out of their grips with a grunt that i hadn't intended.
"yes, i'm fine," i say annoyed.
i smooth down my hair and sit on the bench.
"i miss you yoongi-nim." taehyung says sitting next to me.
i scoot away.
he scoots closer.
"i know." i say, trying not to be rude but also trying not to lie to him.
"you're still the same cutie aren't you?" he says and touches his index finger to my nose.
i see hoseok move in my peripheral and look at him.
his leg is bouncing and his jaw is jutted out.
"i'll still bite your finger off," i say looking away.
everyone laughs.
i ignore it.
"i really miss you. even with that angry little demon man inside of you,"
angry little demon man?
"he's a kitten. not a demon. don't let him fool you,"
jimin says.
i smile and roll my eyes.
there is suddenly another hand on my thigh.
i look down at it.
to big to be jimin's.
to callused to be hoseok's.
i look at they man next to me.
jimin's boyfriend.
"take it." he says.
i look at hoseok briefly then back to jimin's boyfriend.
"no thanks,"
"it'll make you feel better babe," jimin says.
i look at the hand.
then at jimin.
then at hoseok.
then back at the hand.
is this cheating?
me and hoseok aren't even together though.
and his hands look so comforting.
but what if he gets angry.
but he's hoseok.
i shake off my thoughts.
"no."
jimin's boyfriend laughs.
"i'm don't bite, see look," he gabs my hand and holds it firmly.
i don't hate it.
and i hate that.
"let go," i whine looking at hoseok for a moment.
the man with the hand looks behind him, realizing why i was so squirmy.
"oh goodness, hob-ah are you angry with me for holding your boyfriend's hand."
everything gets quiet.
not even taehyung makes a sound.
we all just look at the young idiot.
"no," hoseok finally says. "no i'm not angry with you for holding my boyfriend's hand. hold his hand if it'll make you feel better yoongi."
my face gets hot.
of course i want to be his boyfriend.
but he was just so straight forward.
it took me aback slightly.
"see," the boy says turning back to me. "don't worry,"
i nod.
still very uncomfortable.
but accepting that i'd just have to be uncomfortable for everyone else to be comfortable.
"so when were you going to tell me that you had a boyfriend, hobi hyung?" taehyung asks.
i flush at the word.
not a bad flush.
just...
i'm dating hoseok?
woah.
"we hadn't really made it official," he eyes the man holding my hand. "so thanks jungkook for that. but you were going to be the first person i told when we did,"
"wait wait wait. there's one thing i don't get," i say changing the topic by accident. "how have you and hoseok been best friends this whole time, and you live with this dude, and him and hoseok had never met?"
"where'd you get the idea we'd never met?" whats-his-face asks.
"we had. but i didn't really get the chance to catch up with him while everything was going down that night and i had fallen asleep before he got to your apartment, plus they went straight to jimin's room so." hoseok explains.
"oh. makes sense i guess."
i see movement in the corner of my eye and turn to see what it was.
a big black van.
i stare at it as the boys continue to make conversation around me.
a very thin woman gets out of the drivers seat and opens the back of the van.
inside of it is-
"PUPPIES!" hoseok shouts.
i'd never heard him shout.
it was a very very loud sound.
but he was so joyous.
and the way i feel about him, i never want him to be anything but joyous.
so i don't respond to it the way i normally would.
i smile and say,
"lets go have a look, why don't we?"