sunshine • myg + jhs

24

he sits a white mug in front of me, a big smile displayed upon his face.
"you look so adorable, baby. it's so big on you!"
i climb into my seat as he compliments me.
i scrunch my nose.
i don't hate the compliment.
but i don't know how to accept it.
he touches his finger to my nose.
"why do you do that? i don't not like it or anything. just why?"
"what? boop you?"
"boop me?"
"that's what it's called. booping your nose."
"oh. well. as i said i don't not like it."
he laughs and i lift the cup of steamy, hot caffeine to my lips.
"well?" he says as i take a sip.
it's awful.
by far the worst thing i've ever had in my mouth.
it's lukewarm, the coffee beans aren't ground enough, it's just a mess.
but i swallow.
i can't break his heart like that when he's doing so much for me without even knowing.
"it's amazing."
"well i'm happy you like it. how do you drink that stuff though? it's far too bitter for me." he states leaning over the counter.
"well, most people would think i'm far too bitter for you too. and you think i'm far too bitter for my own self. things just work differently for some people, i guess."
i take another sip.
"so, what else do you want to know about me? i just realized we never finished that talk."
"oh!" i say and take another sip, "the big life impacting stuff," 
"well. okay so was an underground dancer for a little while. and when my father found out about my sexuality, he kicked me. my mom didn't really care, but my dad... he was really a hard man to negotiate with so she let him win. i remember that day. my newly ex boyfriend had come to bring my things over that he had at his house. my dad knew him. he'd let him stay the night and just thought we were friends. but hyungnu thought that my parents knew. he came to the door. my dad said 'wow haven't seen you in a little while' and hyungnu said 'well yeah, i guess the break up has been hard on everyone huh?' and then my dad raged. he slammed the door in hyungnu's face and started screaming. he came in my room and dragged me out by the collar of my shirt and threw me out the front door. i stayed with hyungnu for a month because i mean we had ended on good terms plus he was the legitimate reason i'd gotten kicked out so, theres that. anyway. around a month later, i met namjoon. my savior. namjoon became my family. and when he and jin started dating, jin became my family. my only family. well. besides mejiwoo. my sister. she knew before i even came out. and i came out to her, by accident. i brought hyungnu to her room and she said 'oh so you're the boyfriend' and he was my first boyfriend and we had just started dating like a week before that so i was really excited and slipped up and said 'yes, he's my boyfriend'. so me and her still keep in touch. she's the only blood i still got. besides her its joon and jin. so when they got married, they became like my parents. because i had gotten kicked out when i was merely a teen, i was stupid. i had never had rules. but they whipped me into shape. even though namjoon is younger than i am, he's more of a father than my real one is anymore. he and jinnie give me advice, scold me, they can't really tell me what to do, but they do anyway and i do it. they're my family now. and when i came to them bruised and torn and hurt. they were angry. forced me to get a job or hobby thing after i was a bit less hurt. thats where i met you. so i'm very greatful i got torn and banged up."
i smile at him.
"may i have more please?"
he gets up and begins to refil my cup.
"what about why you moved. you said you didn't want to bore me with why that night."
"oh. well. there was this guy in my old building. my namhyung. he never hit me or hurt me or anything. i mean we never even dated. but he did talk to me like i was his property. and he'd always come over and try and get in with me. he was just a stalker. we had to leave."
he sits my coffee down and i grab his hand before he can pull away.
"hoseok i'm-"
"no no it wasn't really traumatic, it was just scary at the time. i'm fine."
"oh. okay then. so how'd you meet taehyung? i know bighit but what's the story?"
"oh! that's a great story! tae tae's the one who got me into my favorite artist! okay! so i was stretching because i'm responsible. he comes in blaring music on this cube speaker thing and- actually i have the song downloaded. hold on."
he pulls his phone out.
"it's this anonymous artist. he goes by agust d. nobody knows who he is and he only releases like one song at a time."
fuck?
fUCK.
taehyung is the biggest stan of me there is.
of COURSE HE WAS BLARING MY SONG.
OF FUCKING COURSE.
he's the reason i blew up.
he blared me at bighit.
i never knew that.
his phone starts to play give it to me.
"wanna know a secret?" i ask.
"always."
"agust d is me."
"okay." he scoffs.
"you think i really have enough money from working at a bakery to pay someone 300 extra dollars when they asked for six to begin with? you really think i'd care so little about my job? you really think me, a poor little daegu boy, who had to decide between dinner and a bus ticket home, has that much money saved? i make my money from my music. granted i'm not super famous but i'd say i'm well known. plus also i can tell you all the following lyrics and all the lyrics to every other song if you'd like me to."
he seems shocked.
"and yeah. taehyung is the biggest fan of me there could ever be. in fact, what day was he blaring this?"
"august 18th 2018."
"yup that was the day i released it. seems like it was so long ago. hasn't even been a year. anyway. on with the story."
"no no no! i've been obsessed with your music since i heard it. everyone at bighit has. they've been trying to find you. like Bang-PD-nim. he wants to sign you, yoongi."
"wait are you joking?"
"no! yoongi you're just a sound cloud rapper right now and everyone's obsessed. imagine if you worked for bighit. you'll be huge."
"holy shit."
i take a sip of the tragedy that is my coffee and swallow.
i take it all in.
they want to sign me.
but i look at hoseok.
he stares at me in awe.
and it fades.
it's just him.
he's what i want.
i can be huge when i'm dead.
"okay, now please. keep on."
"yoon-"
"please. i want to know."
he looks confused for a moment, then continues his story.
"so he's blaring your song traipsing through the studio shouting the lyrics and the loudness hurts my ears. but the energy just hypes me up. so i go up to him and ask him what it is. he says 'the best damn rapper to ever fucking live' and hands me his phone before running of shouting again. i thought he was cute so while stealing his playlist, i put in my number. then later i realized he's just a baby brother kinda cute and we became best friends."
i laugh.
baby brother kinda cute.
that's taehyung.
but sometimes.
he's not cute.
"tae has modes though." i say. "he can be cute or he can be horny."
"trust me, i know, but when i saw him horny i didn't want him like i should have so i decided he's a friend, not a lover."
"what about when you saw me horny?"
what the fuck?
i don't even remember thinking that.
why did i say it?
"when i saw you horny, i got horny." he starts to come around the corner towards me. "plus there's a big difference. with tae. i just wanna sauish him. with you," he tilts his head, smirking as he gets closer to me,  "with you i just want to kiss you and touch you and mark you where only a lover can. especially when you look so cute and fuckable like you do now." he's close.
i can feel him behind me.
i gulp.
he spins my chair to face him.
"you look nervous now. have i made you nervous, min yoongi?"
i shake my head no.
i'm not nervous.
he's just intimidating.
and i've never been told that i'm fuckable.
it's not bad.
it's just new.
"good, now how about i take you back to my room, hm? you need some.. rest."