sunshine • myg + jhs

40

taehyung comes back to hobi's room with me.
jimin and jungkook go home.
jimin needs rest.
i know i'm stressing him out.
"how you feeling?" he asks.
"dumb question." i answer.
he pushes the door open to reveal Namjoon and Jin sitting on hobi's bed.
namjoon stands as we open the door.
when i see him, tears just stream from my eyes.
i promised him i'd protect hoseok.
i failed.
he comes to me and crouches to my level.
he places a kiss to my forehead and takes my good hand into his.
"look at me yoongi-ah." he orders.
i do so, barely seeing him through the cloud of tears that blurred him into a blob of gold and black.
he catches the fallen tears on his thumbs before pulling my forehead into his.
"are you okay?" he asks.
"no namjoon. i'm not. i did this to him. i did this."
i cry more and he pulls his head away looking behind me at taehyung.
he looks back to me and wheels me over to the couch.
he lifts me onto his lap and lays my head on his shoulder.
"i'm so sorry namjoon-ah. i'm so sorry i've failed you. and him. and hyung. i've failed everyone. i couldn't protect him and i'm so sorry." he hugs me to his chest tighter.
"yoongi none of this is your fault. do you understand me? none of this could have been stopped by you. and i'm sure when he wakes up, he will tell you the exact same thing. his heart is beating hyung. he has a pulse. he's going to pull through. and when he does. he's going to smile at you and tell you that he loves you. i know that you brought him to daegu. i know you think that because of that it's your fault. did you know it would happen? no. if you could have known you would have done whatever it took to stop it. we all know that. you have failed no one yoongi-ah. none of this is your fault. just because you were there, doesn't mean you could have done anything about it. it doesn't mean this is your fault. things like this happen yoongi. it's no ones fault."
my breathing evens out, and my tears gradually stop.
"yoongi nobody blames you. nobody is angry with you. this is not your fault." jin says rubbing his hand along my back.
"exactly yoongi. this is no ones fault. you couldn't have done anything. we all know you would have. but you can't stop these things. this is not your doing." taehyung says.
i nod into namjoon's shoulder, but don't move from my spot.
"get some sleep hyung. we aren't going anywhere." he says. i hug him closer and shut my eyes.
"thank you namjoon-ah. thank you."