sunshine • myg + jhs

44

"you are my sunshine. my only sunshine. you make me happy. when skies are grey. you'll never know dear. how much i love you. so please don't take. my sunshine. away."
i look at the clock.
5:39 am.
i've been singing since four.
i couldn't sleep.
it's still hard for me.
once you start sleeping with hoseok, you can't sleep without him.
"you asked me what happened to my father and i refused to tell you. but i think i'm ready now. he was a very bad man. he'd hit us. and scream at us. just because he had the power and authority. thats why i don't like honorifics. i feel it gives to much power and if someone has to much power it'll go south for everyone.... yes my father did get cancer from smoking. but he didn't die because of said cancer. he got shot. see as i've already explained my father was a bad man. he used to force himself onto boys that were all yonger than ten. he got caught by a father and the father shot him immediately. straight through the head. he fell onto the little boy and a few years later the boy committed suicide. his note was in thank you formation. and in the last few sentences he thanked my father for mentally mudering him when he was eight. he'd physically murdered all of his other victims, but cut their fingertips and toes off and decapitated them so they couldn't be identified. he was never suspected because from the outside, he seemed perfect. a small business owner, a full head of hair. we didn't have much money, but he sure made it looked like we did. so he was never caught until mr. sung shot him. so. yeah. th-thats my dad. that's why i hate being compared to him. he wasn't just a cancer patient. he was evil."
his hand moves a little bit and i look at his face.
his eyes are opened.
his eyes are opened.
i stand up quickly, not caring about the pain that strikes me as i do so.
he's awake.
"h-hoseok?"
his lips twitch slightly.
he won't be able to talk for a long time.
but he's awake.
he's awake.
"n-nurse. NURSE. PLEASE NURSE. HE'S AWAKE. PLEASE COME QUICKLY HE'S AWAKE."
my screaming wakes the other guys in the room.
and they all rush to his sides.
"he won't be able to move much or talk for a while. but he's awake. he's- he's awake." the boy's help me to sit on his bed as namjoon takes hobi's hand.
he presses his forehead to it and cries loudly.
jin rubs his back and i bawl into hobi's chest, taehyung holding hobi's other hand, jimin rubbing my back and jungkook rubbing his and taehyung's.
we're all crying messes.
"hoseok i got a transplant. i'm fighting this for you. so you better stay healthy okay? please."
"h-his pinky twitched." namjoon declares, "thats him promising."
the nurses rush in, and immediately we are all pushed away from hoseok's bed.
none of us are able to control our tears so all the boys crouch to my wheelchair's level and hug me tightly.
we all cry together and praise god for saving him.
everything is going right.
everything is good.
i'm going to be able to breathe well soon.
hoseok is awake.
everything is good.
the grey period is over.
for the first time ever, life is finally going to become vivid.