sunshine • myg + jhs

34

"you still know how to play my song baby?" my mom asks as i sit down at the piano.
i scoff and look at her as my fingers play the music i didnt even have to think about to remember.
i look away and shut my eyes letting the melody flow from my finger tips.
"yoongi hyung! yoongi hyung!" hoseok shouts from the kitchen, "in here. now. please!"
he called me hyung?
it's urgent.
i stand from my place and walk quickly into the kitchen.
"yes, my love?"
he's beet red, looking down at a phone on the counter.
i go over and look too.

Hurry the hell up and the the money from him, Joonsoo!
I'm tired of waiting.

i open the phone, no password, imbecile, and see the texts.

I'm going to the house, he comes around once every month right around now so i'm going to hang around the house for a while and go in when he's been there a day or two. i'll convince him i've gotten better as a person, and then get the money out of him.

Hurry, I'm going to starve damn it.

I'll get it when I get it. Be patient.
                            Read: Two Days Ago
                        Today
Hurry the hell up and the the money from him, Joonsoo!
I'm tired of waiting.

i look up at hoseok with tears in my eyes.
he pulls me into a hug.
"she's not worth crying over, suck it up right now or she wins. cry when she's gone."
why does he understand exactly what i need him to?
i wipe my eyes on my sleeve, push all the emotions into my stomach, and start my riot.
"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" i shout. "YOU BOTTOM FEEDING, FREE LOADER, CUNT. GET OUT OF MY HOUSE."
i throw her phone at her and it crashes on the top of the piano.
"min yoongi! what has gotten into you?"
"YOU'RE USING ME FOR MY MONEY? AGAIN? I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY. DON'T EVEN GET YOUR SHIT JUST GET OUT OF MY FUCKING HOUSE."
i push her off the piano bench and throw open the top.
i grab the gun out of it's compartment and point it at her.
she rushes to grab her phone, the screen is in pieces, and runs out of the door.
"COME BACK AND YOU'RE WITH DAD. I SWEAR ON MY OWN FUCKING GRAVE."
she speeds away and i want to be sad. 
i mean i'm supposed to be upset that i just had to chase my own mother away.
that the woman who created me, just tried to use me.
but i'm not sad.
i was at first because i'm gullible.
but now it's settled in my head and i'm fine.
i'm not going to break down.
i expected it, honestly.
i turn to hoseok.
"well, i think this house had cursed our lives enough for one lifetime. we should get to heading home? i miss my holly."
"yoongi you don't have to pretend anymore, you can cry now."
i take his hand into mine.
"hoseok, i was sad at first. but i caught her before she could really hurt me." i say heading into the kitchen. "i expected something like this to happen. i didn't want to admit it, but she's incapable of change. i'm not sad. just a bit angry still."
he snakes his arms around my waist and kisses my bare neck.
i flashback to whenever i had bruises in the exact spot his lips press against.
whenever he was covered in grey and purple spots just as well.
i turn to face him and wrap my arms around his neck.
i look into the beautiful brown orbs that stare down at me, and smile.
he's so perfect.
so pure.
i love him.
i don't think he knows just how much.
maybe because i can't speak well.
maybe because i'm still too scared to let him know.
i kiss him passionately.
we pull eachother closer; he has my waist, i have his neck.
we want eachother.
i hope he can feel the way i love him when i kiss him.
i hope i can convey to him somehow how much he means to me.
the sad, broken, dying boy who's life he completely lit up.
i press my forehead to his.
"you are my sunshine. my only sunshine. you make me happy. when skies are grey. you'll never know dear. how much i love you. lord please don't take. my sunshine. away."
my lungs can't support a tune, so my voice is merely a whisper by the time the 'away' slips past my pale, chapped lips.
he sighs in contentment.
"i love you, my dear. you're my everything."
he kisses my forehead, then takes one of my hands into his.
this is a moment i know, even as i live it, i will remember forever.
even when i'm dead and gone, i'll force myself to remember this moment.
because this is the first time i've felt something as strong as this feeling that's surging through me.
i understand it now.
i understand it all now.
all these feelings of misery and swelling hearts.
i used to think i'd felt it before, and the feeling was just denied to me.
but i've never felt something like this.
because hoseok is different.
"hobi?"
"yes, honey."
"i don't want to leave this. i don't want to leave you."
"i don't want you to either. but baby, we're going to fight this until the end. it's going to be over soon. you will have no more pain, no more sadness. all will be well. in one way or another. everything will play out to be good in the end. if it's not good, it's not the end."
"but what do we do right now?"
i feel like i've had this conversation with him before, but i can't really recall much.
"right now baby, we dance."
i shut my eyes and put my forehead on his chest.
i feel him shaking and i know he's crying.
but i don't know why.
so i do my best to cheer him up.
"you are my sunshine. my only sunshine. you make me happy. when skies are grey. you'll never know dear. how much i love you. lord please don't take. my sunshine away."