Finding You

Mistakes

Alex: Where did you go? Saw you get up and leave.

I stare at the message and let a tear fall down my cheek. I hate him. I tried so hard to get away from him. I ran. I moved across the country. I can't believe he's done this to me again. I delete the message and click on Jordan's name.

"Hey babes, it's a little early to be calling me. You had a date tonight." She says and my voice shakes.

"Alex showed up and pretty much told Brad that I stalked him and moved here." I put my elbow on the bench and tangle my hand into my hair.

"What did Brad say?" She asks shocked.

"Nothing. He just tried to make things go back to normal. I can't begin to imagine what he must think of me."

"Are you home then? Did he end the date?" She asks and I half laugh.

"No, of course he didn't. He's too kind to do that. I paid the ticket and left."

"You just left? You didn't say anything to him?"

"There was nothing to say, Jordan. How do I come back from that? How do I let all of this go?" I wipe my eyes, smearing my makeup.

"Listen to me Natalie and actually hear me. Go say something to him. Explain the situation. I don't give a fuck what you do but you do not leave him in that restaurant wondering what he did wrong. Do you know how that's going to fuck with him?" She asks and I sniffle.

"Jordan, I don't know if I can face him again. I don't know what to say."

"Then figure it out on the way back to the restaurant. You are so smart that you can be so stupid sometimes. You find someone who makes you happy and you run at the first sign of trouble. Brad knows you, not Alex. All he's thinking now is that the guy probably spoke some truth because you ran like a coward. Get up and go back to the restaurant." She tells me and I stand slowly, grabbing my things.

"You're right. I'll talk to you later." I whisper and hang up on her.

Brad: Where did you go?

Me: Can we talk? I'm at the park down the street.

Brad:I'll pick you up.

I stand on the sidewalk beside the road and wait for him to get to me. I don't know what I'm going to say but I have to say something. I have to clear all this up. I can't let this end with him thinking I'm crazy. He parks the car beside me and I slide in, sitting my stuff in the floor. Its completely silent, except the radio turned down low.

"I can explain." I whisper and tangle my hands together. He doesn't say anything and I bite my lip.

"A few months after we separated, I decided to date, or try to date. I met this guy through work and we started seeing each other. I should have known better since he was also military. There's like a thing that you don't sleep with someone whose married, even if they're going through a divorce, but especially if their spouse is military. It can cause all kinds of problems and they don't take it lightly." I shake my head. "Anyways, Alex talked to this guy and told him a lot of things that weren't true and the guy never wanted to see me again." I tell him and unsure if he's listening or not, I continue.

"That was the first time that he changed his mind about us. He decided that he wanted me back and I tried to make it work. But he wanted me and Catherine and I couldn't do that. I couldn't be someones backup plan so I started look at jobs in Georgia. There were none in my hometown but there was a lot here which is only an hour away from my family. My boss, Collin, found my resume on one of the sites I posted on and called me. He was in the process of starting up the company I work for now and needed someone like me to help him. It was a lot of emailing and video calling at the beginning so I decided to stay in New Mexico and work on my job and save up the money to leave. I didn't leave until Collin called me and told me that he had an office waiting for me." I pause and try to control my shaking hands.