Finding You

Zombies are the Least of my Problems

"So, start at the beginning." He smiles and crosses his arms on the table. Oh, we're here already. I forgot that I was about to tell my YouTube crush my pathetic story. I'm gonna singlehandedly ruin any chance that I might have had with him. Perhaps he does this with everyone he meets alone in a café.

"Are you sure? I mean we're having such a great time." I joke and rub my arms.

"Here you go. One latte and one coffee black." The barista sits the coffee cups in front of us. "Thank you." I smile and watch him walk away before turning my attention back to Brad.

"I like hearing that I'm doing more than playing video games as a grown man." He takes a sip of his coffee. I take a drink of mine and sit my elbows on the table, intwining my fingers together.

"So I was 16 when I ran across your video for the first time. It was like 2013 and for christmas I got The Walking Dead: Survival Instinct. I was so excited to play it because I had watched one video that you had done on it. I had intentions of playing it, don't get me wrong, but I'm not good at video games, so it never happened, of course." I joke and he smiles.

"So what hooked you?" He raises an eyebrow and I sigh.

"I watched that series. It was my first and I told myself I would not watch anymore. I will not be like my brothers and watch gamers all the time. That all changed after my boyfriend at the time kind of switched gears. He was just a really bad guy and definitely too old for me at the time. I eventually broke up with him for cheating on me and being an insensitive jerk and he kind of became scary, if that makes sense. I had anxiety about being home alone. I was sure that he would find me even though I had moved in with my mom and he didn't know where I was. I started watching your videos pretty religiously after that. Don't take this the wrong way but your voice is soothing to me and it was a familiar voice at that point." I explain and watch his emotions. First happy, then sad, then almost angry, and back to happy. When I get done, he takes a minute to find his words. I've scared him off for sure. He'll run. I spilled too much and he's creeped out.

"I'm glad I could be that source of security for you. Sounds like things were bad. Was he abusive or anything?" He asks and I shrug. I don't know how to answer that really. I don't want to run his name through the dirt but I shouldn't really care.

"Maybe. I don't like saying that he was or wasn't since abuse is different for everyone. He accidentally hit me a couple times but they were conveniently timed after an argument or after I told him I didn't want to do something. He was mentally abusive though. He always made snide remarks that I was fat or required makeup." I explain and frown. It's been a really long time since I've thought of that first boyfriend. He was awful. He cheated on me and forced me into sex multiple times. I went along with it because I was in love with the idea of love. I look at Brad, whose frowning. He takes a large sip of his coffee and sits down slowly.

"You were only 16?" He asks in disbelief. I shrug and prop my head on my hand.

"Yeah, but I have this tragic backstory so it only makes sense that I would always choose the wrong guys." I puff as my watch pings, alerting me to an email from Thomas. I frown. I should check it further but I'm afraid if I pull out my laptop that it'll kill the mood.

"Do you need to grab that?" He asks and I shake my head.

"It's just work. I can email him back later." I put my watch down and watch it go black.

"Oh, what do you do for work?" He asks and I blush. He's going to laugh.

"What do I not do? I notarize, file forms, edit videos, revise scripts. It's a small company right here in town." I explain and he looks impressed.