Finding You

The Lake

"I'm sorry." I whisper and lean my head against his shoulder.

"Don't apologize." He kisses my head and I half smile.

"I really thought I could have been pregnant that time." I whisper.

"We have all the time in the world. Just sit with me. Just take a minute to be here." He tells me and I nod. I've been wrapped up in my thoughts lately. A week late from my regular to the hour period. I was excited this time. I got my hopes up for the first time since we started trying.

"The lake is gorgeous this time of year."

"It's Nothing compared to you." I smile. What a cheeseball.

"You're something else, Bradley." I kiss his arm and he turns to look at me.

"Where do you see yourself in the future?"

"With you, hopefully a house full of kids, possibly with another pupper. I don't know." That sounds about right to me, honestly. That sounds perfect actually.

"I see us sitting on this swing looking out at the lake for the rest of our lives."

"Just us?" I ask softly.

"Just me and you. Kids can come, dogs can follow us, family can visit, but at the end of the day, it's you and me."

"What if kids don't come and the dogs decide they hate us and family abandons us for living forever away?"

"You will always be enough for me. Just as you are. We don't need to have kids. We don't need more dogs. We can go to family if we need to. But as long as I have you, I have everything I need."

"I'm terrified I won't be enough one day or that I won't be able to give you the life you want."

"You have already given me everything I could ever ask of you. Our life as it is now is everything to me. It's perfect." He smiles before wiping a tear from my cheek.

"I love you." I kiss his hand and he pulls me closer to him.

"I got you something." He kisses my head and reaches into his pocket. I sit up and cross my legs.

"I don't have anything for you." I tell him and he shakes his head.

"You can return the favor at the wedding." He holds up a small white box and my jaw falls open.

"Bradley, when did you find the time to do this?" I blink and he smiles.

"The day of the wreck, when you were at your meeting." He grabs my hand with his free one.

"You had it this whole time?" A tear falls slowly down my face and I take a deep breath in.

"Yeah, I've known that I wanted to marry you for years now. I figured I waited long enough. I almost lost you, ya know? I almost didn't have this chance. I'm not doing that again." He opens the box and I chuckle. "What's so funny?" He asks.

"I should have known you would have gotten it perfect. What are you waiting for? Put it on." I hold my hand out and he slides the dainty ring on my finger. It feels natural and so easy and simple. Nothing like the elaborate, public proposal from my past.

"There's no getting rid of me now."

"I wouldn't dream of it." I crawl onto his lap, shakily as the swing sways.

His kiss is soft and gentle but the way he grips my hips is hard and steady, as if he's genuinely afraid he'll lose me. I could never. I wouldn't.

"I'm having your babies if it's the last thing I do, promise." I pull away and he nods.

"Yes ma'am. How bout you take me inside and we'll celebrate until we make that promise come true?" He kisses me again and I sigh.

"I don't understand how you're so addictive. Jesus." I whisper and he laughs.

"Hmm, I can't wait to have you hooked for life."

"Let's go tomorrow. Shotgun wedding at the courthouse. I want you all to myself. Now." I groan and he laughs before grabbing my face.

"We'd scare the neighbors off."

"I'll be quiet."

"Bullshit." He whispers.

"I want blinds or something so we can break in the gazebo."

"We'll find something tomorrow."

"We have a shotgun wedding to attend though."

"Baby we can't have a shotgun wedding. Our mothers would be devastated." He rubs my shoulders. He's right. I know he's right.

"Just a small wedding then. Our parents, grands, and siblings. No one else."

"Whatever you want." Our foreheads come together and I take a deep breath in. I can't wait to marry him. I can't wait to be his wife. Something I swore off years ago and here I am more excited than I was the first time around. Strangely enough there's not a bone in my body that is worried about history repeating itself. In fact, in this moment, I'm willing my body into fertility for him. I'm begging for everything to fall into place so I can make all of his dreams come true. A task that seems so daunting when he's made every single wish I had come true so easily.