Finding You

I'll never let go

"You're home early." Brad says as I come in. As soon as he shuts the door, I wrap my arms around him tightly. I let out all my frustrations in the form of tears on his chest.

"Hey, it's okay." He kisses my head and a wave a guilt washes over me. It never occurred to me that he could actually decide to breakup with me because I accidentally led someone on at some point. I thought another person was attractive.

"It's been a really shitty day and you're the only person who can make me feel better but I'm so scared you'll be mad at me." I look up at him and he wipes my cheeks softly.

"Whatever has you this sad, couldn't make me mad." He tells me and I take a deep breath in.

"I was supposed to have a meeting with the band today. I had Jordan with me so I could train her a bit. Anyways, I thought all of them were going to show but only Jeremy did. Dan is still in rehab and Carter wants to take time off and Jeremy wants to go solo." I tell him and pull out of his arms.

"He made you set up a meeting just to tell you that?" Brad asks and I nod.

"He wanted to take me out to lunch or be alone with me because I made him believe we had a chance by accident." It all just falls out of my mouth. Well, shit. Brad looks at me confused.

"What do you mean?" He asks, eyebrows still bunched together. I take a deep breath in.

"The day of the concert he was being protective of me and I blushed. Nothing was said that could have been taken out of context that I know of. Then, he called me to update me on Dan and now that I think of it, I guess he was fishing for more than what I gave him."

"So, a blush is all it took for him to jump to conclusions?" It sounds crazy. I sound crazy.

"I don't know, Bradley. I didn't intentionally do anything. I didn't ask for any of this." Stop getting defensive, I scream at myself.

"I'm just a little confused, okay?" He asks and I throw my arms up.

"You're confused? I've known these guys for years. They each had multiple opportunities to throw themselves at me. Why now? Why does it take me finding the actual man of my dreams for them to suddenly realize they have feelings for me?" I ask exhausted and Bradley takes a deep breath in.

"And nothing happened?" He asks softly.

"Of course nothing happened, Bradley. I would never throw what we have away."

"Then say it. Tell me you love me." And there it is, the moment I've been dreading. The moment that I knew would happen after today.

"I know you're upset but I'm not ready to say it yet." I tangle my hands together and look down at my feet.

"Jesus, Natalie. Just tell me what I want to hear for once."

"You know I can't. Especially when you look at me like that." His eyes are dark and demanding- which is a whole new experience.

"Do you have feelings for Jeremy? Is that why you won't say it?" He asks and I grip onto the kitchen chair.

"Where did that come from?" I ask shellshocked.

"It would actually make sense why you won't say it back." I close my eyes.

"I think Jeremy looks good but he's not you. He doesn't make my heart skip beats. He doesn't make me smile uncontrollably just by looking at me. You are everything to me, Bradley but I will not be bullied into telling you what you want to hear because your feelings are hurt." I let go of the kitchen chair and pull my hair from the bun it has been in all day.

"Just let me be selfish." He breathes and I shake my head.

"Show me just how selfish you want to be." I pull at the buttons on my blazer and let it fall down my arms.

"You can't distract me with sex." He whispers.

"What else do you have to say? Do you want me to leave for telling you the truth? Should I grab my things?" I asks and he shakes his head.

"Just stop being nice to people." He looks down at his feet and I half smile.

"I gave their file to Jordan with a warning for the guys. One more strike and I go to Collin, who will drop them at the drop of a pin."

"I'll kick their ass. Jeremy is lucky I don't know where to find him."

"Well, in the meantime, you can come show me what else you can do." I need a release. I need today erased from my memory.

"I won't be gentle." He says softly.

"Don't want it gentle. I want to forget everything but you." His eyes are wide with shock at what I said.

"I'm sorry for getting mad." He lifts one side of his mouth and I shake my head.

"You have every right."

"I underestimate the power you have over people. I mean, I'm head over heels for you and it's not even been that long."

"I would lock myself in a room by myself for the rest of my life just to have you. Only you." I pull at the knot holding my paper bag pants up and they loosen, allowing me to easily push them down, only to realize I still have my heels on.

"I may hold you to that one day." He smiles, looking down at my current predicament. There goes trying to be sexy.

"I didn't think this through." For the first time all day, I finally smile.

"And somehow I love you even more." He walks to me and bends down, untying the bows around my ankles.

"I love that you somehow find new things to love about me." I look down to lift each foot as he pulls the pants over my shoes. He looks up to me and takes me in.

"I forgot how good you look in these." He touches my foot softly.

"Hmm, I'll have to wear them for you more often."

"Just for me." He runs his hand up my leg.

"Just for you. Now, get up here." I reach my hands out to him and he pulls himself up, bringing our bodies together.

"I thought you wanted me to be selfish." He sighs.

"You will be. Just later." I kiss him hard and enjoy the feeling of his hands on my body.