Finding You

A Proposition

"I have an idea to run past you." Brad says and I look up, suddenly getting the feeling that we've been here before.

"What's up?" I ask and he sits in his chair turning to me fully.

"I think I want to start a podcast." I close my laptop and raise an eyebrow.

"A gaming podcast?" I ask, slightly confused.

"Well, yeah. But I want you to help."

"You want me? To do what? Help with editing and equipment?"

"No, well, kinda, but not what I meant. I want you to take an hour once a week and sit down with me and we'll talk about something gaming or we'll play a game or I don't know. I haven't really planned it all out yet." He scratches his head and I sigh.

"Brad, I'm not interesting or funny enough for a podcast."

"You definitely are." He smiles and I shake my head. He can't mean this.

"I don't know." I shrug and he stands from his chair.

"What's the worst that happens? It doesn't work out and we don't do it again. What's wrong with trying?" He asks and squats down in front of me.

"I just don't want you to waste the time and effort on something thats not going to work out." He moves my laptop from my lap and onto the floor.

"What if people just don't like me? Then what?" I ask softly and he smiles goofily.

"I'll just breakup with you then." I roll my eyes.

"I'm serious, goofball."

"Everyone loves you."

"Not everyone."

"Name one person who doesn't like you." He grabs my hands and I sigh. I can't think of anyone in particular. Even Alex is on good terms with me.

"I choose to surround myself with people who love me." I smile and he moves so he's sitting on his butt before pulling me down on top of him.

"Just day you'll try." He grabs my face and pulls our foreheads together.

"I'm just nervous." I whisper and he kisses me softly.

"I'll be right beside you."

"Fine but if everyone hates it, I'm out." I smile before he kisses me and lays back so that I'm straddling his waist.

"Why're you being so silly today?" I ask and he shrugs.

"Love makes a man do silly things."

"Okay, cheeseball." I lean down, my hands on either side of his head.

"Have I told you how beautiful you are?" He kisses my arm softly and I smile.

"Only enough to feed my ego."

"That's not enough. Shame on me." He kisses my other arm.

"Do you promise to always make me feel beautiful?" I blink, closing my eyes as snakes his arms to my back to rub the sore spot.

"It's the very least I can do, baby." He kisses my collarbone and I suck in air. I hadn't realize that I had come down to him so much.

"Oh, God, I love you." I rest my head on his shoulder as he massages my back.

"So instead of orgasms, you want back rubs, huh?" I blush, thankful that his view of my face is limited.

"Oh, no. I very much need my orgasms. Back rubs are brownie points for your unreciprocated orgasms."

"You mean blowjobs and handies?" He asks and I nod.

"You know, because I bleed for 5 days so I don't get to finish."

"You're too good for me." He kisses me softly. "Don't know why you chose me."

Because I love you more than words can say. But before I can get that out, his kisses become deeper, more demanding. He begins pulling at the buttons on my blouse, undoing them just as easy as a flick of his fingers.

"Bradley." I stop him and he takes a deep breath.

"I need this... this distraction."

"What's wrong?" I ask softly. Everything was fine. Everything was easy. Why the sudden shift?

"I finally talked to Sarah today. Did you know she had the baby?"

"Well, she was already a little along last we spoke to her. You're only pregnant about 40 weeks." I try to lighten the situation to no avail.

"She had a boy. Named him Alexander of all things." I smile and nod.

"It's not a bad name, Bradley. Did you want her to name him after you?" I ask with a raised eyebrow and he shakes his head.

"No, of course not. I don't even think I want our son named after us." Oh, oh. Oh.

"We have a son, now?" I turn my head to the side and his cheeks turn pink. I'm allowed to tease him, I think.

"No, I just meant when we have a son, if we have a son, or a daughter, or whatever, I don't think I want them named after me."

"Are you thinking about kids now? Did Sarah giving birth make you start thinking of the life you could have had?" I ask softly and he's still for a moment. I don't even think he breathes until our eyes finally meet and I see my answer written on his face.

"It made me start thinking of our kids. You're the only person I've ever imagined having kids with and it's just hitting me that I want them and I want them soon." I take a deep breath and climb off of him, sitting beside him. Kids. An idea I had given up on for the most part.

"This is a lot, Bradley." I take his hand and he pulls himself up.

"I wasn't going to say anything about it. I was gonna think about it for a couple days and let it sit with me, just to see. But I saw it for a minute. I could just picture you with a couple kids that have my hair and your eyes and nose. I could see your cheeks glowing from pregnancy."

"Okay. After we find a house and get settled." He won me over because I could never say no to him. To the perfect children we would make. The adorable, little rascals running around the house. Except they would definitely have his eyes, my nose, and a combination of our hair- his color and my waves or my color and his smooth, straight hair.

"What?" He asks in shock. I smile and kiss his hands.

"Let's buckle down and find a house and get everything unpacked and I will fill the house with as many kids as you want. As many kids as I can give you."

"I love you. Fucking hell, I love you." He kisses me again and I breathe him in, pushing him back to the floor so I can crawl back onto him.

"Until then, we can practice making babies." I smile and he nods.

"Whenever you're ready just stop getting the shot. Don't tell me or I'll get all in my head. If I change my mind, I'll tell you."

"Okay Bradley. Just breathe. And get his shirt off." I joke and he smiles, pulling the buttons on my blouse and pushing it off of me.