Finding You and Me: Bucky Barnes Fanfiction

Bloodshed and Dumpsters

The soldier and I, well Bucky, and I are currently standing in my hotel room in silence. I still haven't said a word since he told me his name.

I guess I'm just jealous. Some out there told him his name. That means there is someone out there that knows him, that cares about him. It might not be the same for me.

"Red?"

"Right, sorry," I snap back to reality.

"So, how do you know your name?" I ask.

"My mission, I knew him," the assassin said, but confused.

"How? How did he know you?"

"He was my best friend, according to him. I started to remember. I hesitated. Why did I hesitate?" He asked himself, frustrated.

"Because you still have some humanity left. You saw someone who cares about you and you weren't going to throw that away. Any sane person would've hesitated," I say.

It goes silent for a bit. Bucky starts looking at me like I'm absolutely crazy. I look at him with jealousy because everything I said is true. I would've hesitated. That hope of someone knowing who I was.

"So," I begin, "Who was your mission?" I ask.

Bucky digs into a small bag that he has had with him the entire time. He pulls out his mission folder and hands it to me.

It's been a long time since I have been handed one of these.

It's the typical folder they always give us. The HYDRA symbol is perfectly placed in the middle of the cover.

When I open the folder, I see a blank mission report form. I simply move it aside and gaps at what I see.

"You knew Captain America? You were best friends with the first superhero?" I ask, wide-eyed.

"I guess so. Who is he?"

"Who is he?! How do you not know?" I ask, but immediately regret it when I see the look on his face.

"Every time I would ask them about or even mumble that I knew him, they would wipe me again. They knew I was getting too close to remembering."

"Sorry. Well, it's still really early. You decided to drop by at like, 4 am, so I can't take you to the one useful place right now. For now, you should just sleep. It looks like you haven't gotten any in awhile. I am going to go do what I was planning on doing before we had this conversation," I suggested, but it was more of a command.

"Where were you going?" He asks seeming very curious all of a sudden.

"Nowhere important. Just sleep."

~~~~~~

Another kill, another body. This time I didn't kill because some guy was robbing a bank or being an asshole. Well, that's still part of it. I killed three more people because I was angry. Angry and jealous. I hate that I'm jealous of Bucky, but I am.

I envy him.

It's not fair that of all the soldiers HYDRA created the one that is most known, most prized, most dangerous, gets to be the one to live. To have people still around to care about them. It also just so happens that the one person who remembers him is freaking THE Captain America. That is pure luck.

When I finish staging my last victim, I look down and realize that I'm covered in blood. How did I manage that with only one knife? It's not like I got into my suit before I left the suite. I still only had the one knife from last night.

"Shit," I mumble.

I can't exactly walk into my hotel like this.

"Screw it," I say and start to strip in a nearby alley.