Finding You and Me: Bucky Barnes Fanfiction

Damaged

"So, now what do you do?" Bucky asks while he fills up the gas tank.

"Well, at this point, we just have to trigger your memories," I say and take a sip of my cherry coke.

What? We're at a gas station. Of course, I got snacks. Are you crazy?

"How do you suppose we do that?" Bucky looks at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, it's kind of obvious. Isn't it?"

"Oh?"

"Well yeah. How have you been remembering things before?" I ask as I dig my hand in a bag of Twizzlers.

"I remember things whenever I see him. Whenever I see Captain America," he says and looks down at his feet.

We hear a click as a signal that the tank is full and Bucky removes the pump.

"Except, I have been trying this whole time. I still have a picture of him from HYRDA. I look at it all the time, nothing."

"Well yeah. All you're doing is looking at a picture. You're not seeing Steve move. You're not hearing him talk. Those are things you remember. His voice, the way he moves. Looking at some inanimate object will do nothing," I shrug and take a bite of my red candy.

"You really like red, don't you?" Bucky chuckles and opens his car door.

"Well it is my name," I laugh with him and circle the car to get to the passenger's side.

"You don't know that though," he points out the obvious.

"You're right. I have no idea who I really am."

He inserts the key into the ignition and starts the car. Before taking the car out of park, he shifts his body to face me.

"Why don't we find out? I mean we are finding me. Why not find you?" He suggests.

"We've been over this Bucky."

"Actually you never told me why you don't want to find yourself," he says and starts to pull out of the gas station.

"Because I'm okay with being lost. There's no one looking," I simply say.

"How do you know that?"

"I don't. I just assume," I shrug.

"Well I think that's bullshit," Bucky says, a little more angry this time.

"I want a real reason for us not to look," he says.

"Because what's the point? You have Steve out there waiting for you! I have nobody! I don't want to find out who I am just to learn that they're all dead or gone and I'll be just as alone as I was before. Maybe even more alone!" I shout.

"But you don't know that Red!" Bucky shouts back.

He sighs and starts to calm down and so do I.

"When were you taken? I don't remember," Bucky asks.

"The first thing I remember at HYDRA was in 1957 when they told me that I was experimented on for four years, so I was taken in 1953."

"Okay, you don't look much older than 25, so that means you were born sometime around 1930. Sound about right?"

I nod in agreement.

"That means there's hope. You could still have people out there. They would just be really old. And even if they are all dead, I would be able to call you something besides your favorite color," he smirks.

He's right. Bucky is totally right. There's hope.

"Oh my God, Bucky. You're right! I could find someone out there. I can do this," I repeat outloud with a bright smile.