Blue Flame

-Love Needed-

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Stay With Me- Sam Smith

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I woke up and realized I didn't have any clothes on. Neither did Zayn. "Baby...Zayn wake up." I say, shaking him. "Hmm?" When he opened his eyes, I remembered everything. We had sex after the concert. "You regret it don't you?" "No...Just shocked is all." He nods, pulling me on top of him. "I love you." "I love you too." "You realize that was all about love right? Everything we did last night. That wasn't sex. That was making love." I just nod.

"If I asked you next month to marry me, do you think you'd be ready?" "I don't know Zayn...We're just moving so fast..." "I just love you so much and I don't wanna lose you. I'm afraid we'll get in a fight and you won't wanna be with me anymore...I'm scared baby." "It'll be okay. I won't leave you. That is, as long as you don't cheat on me or hurt me." "I won't. I know I won't. I love you." "I love you too...Zayn?" "Yes baby?" "Have you quit smoking?" "Kind of...Yeah. But maybe three times a day." "Well, that's better than I thought...Do you want to quit?" "No. Why should I?" "Zayn it's not healthy." "I know but it takes away stress and it's an addiction. I need a better reason than that." "I love you." He wrinkles his eyebrows. "What?" "That's the reason you should quit. I love you and I don't like to see you do this to yourself. I don't want you to get fucking cancer just because you 'don't want to' or you 'don't have a good enough reason.'" "I...I'll try. Yeah. I'll try." "Good." I mumble, pressing a kiss to his lips. "Zayn, I need to confess something." "What?" He growled. "You cheated didn't you?! With Liam!!" "No!! I...Never mind." "No, baby I'm sorry. What happened?" "Forget it Zayn." "No baby...I'm sorry. What was it?" "I cut." I shrug, getting off him and wrapping a robe around my body. An arm wrapped around my waist and he pulled me against his body. His other arm went around and he grabbed my wrist, pulling it up so he could see. "Why?" He asks, nibbling down my neck. "Did you know I have depression?" "What? No...I didn't know. Since when?" "I was officially diagnosed a couple months ago...I was after the...incident too. Liam made me better though and now...I just got bad again. I relapsed." He squeezed me tighter. "I love you. You shouldn't've done that to yourself. You're too beautiful." "Zayn you don't understand. I hate myself. Nothing about me is good enough...It's my fault my parents died...I'm so pathetic." "No baby...No. It wasn't your fault. You're not pathetic. You're perfect babe. Beautiful. You're too amazing to be with me and I love you so much. You're perfect in every single way possible. You. Are. Perfect." I begin to cry. "Zayn...I love you. Don't leave me. Please. I need you. I couldn't do this without you." "I'll never leave you. I couldn't if I wanted to." He lifts my arm to his lips and he kisses my cuts, being gentle. "Dumbass?" "Blue?" "You're everything I ever wanted in a boyfriend. I hope you know that." "It's the same with you baby. I've always wanted somebody who loved me even though I was really fucked up." I smile so I don't cry and turn to face him. "I used to cut my wrists too." My eyes go wide and I look up at him. He brings his wrist up for me to see. They were covered by a tattoo. "Why?" "You know why." "Oh...Baby that wasn't your fault." "Yes it was. If I would've been a better big brother, this wouldn't've happened." "Don't say that. It wasn't your fault." "Yes it was." He mumbles, looking at the ground. I tilt his chin up, connecting our lips. "Baby...?" I hum as a response, resting my forehead on his chest. "Thank you." I smile. "You're welcome babe." I stay in his arms for a while, enjoying his warmth. "What do you wanna do today?" "Beach?" I smiled. "That sounds amazing."