Chapter 30

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"Fuck you're amazing." I heard him chuckle before the next song started playing. I whimpered in response, and it took him a moment to pull out of me. I was so far on the table, that I didn't even move when his body was pulled from mine. 

I did however, start to get the nervous. I hated not being able to touch him when we were done with these kinds of activities. It made me nervous...and frankly a little frightened. Subspace is no joke, and I never wanted to be alone after the high lingered. 

I heard the music, stop and I started to cry a little, the feel of him gone for too long. 

"Shhhh Shhhh, baby it's okay I'm just going to grab the blanket." he cooed from across the room. 

"J-Jooonie....please." I whined out in desperation. 

He made his way back over to me quickly, covering me with the blanket, and pulling me up. He moved his arm under my knees, and across my back lifting me up and holding me to his chest. 

He sat down on the couch that was in the room, and in a comfortable silence he held me as I was processing my return to the real world. There was a moment, just a moment, that I felt him tense as he placed his hand on my forehead, his thumb caressing the middle. HIs breath hitched a little, and it just knew something was wrong but I couldn't bring myself to ask just yet. 

It usually took me about a half hour to come down from subspace and be in a place of mind to hold a conversation. Once I was there, I lifted my head to look at Namjoon with a smile on my face. When my eyes met his, my smile fell, as I saw tears falling from his eyes. 

"What's wrong?"

"Baby, I'm so, so sorry....I didn't mean to hurt you." 

He took the fabric from his shirt and pressed it against my forehead just above my eye. I felt a slight sting but nothing too painful. 

"What do you mean...you didn't hurt me." 

I pushed his hand and shirt out of the way and when I did, I saw that there was a small amount of blood that stained it. I looked back up to him and he looked so broken...so distraught. It truly broke my heart to see him like that, and I was so confused as to where the blood was coming from. I lifted my hand to cup his face, and I made him look at me. 

"I'm not hurt." I said with my eye brows furrowed together. He dropped the shirt and ran his thumb over the same tender spot and brought his thumb in front of my eyes. There was a fair amount of blood that covered his finger, and I reached up to touch the same spot myself. When I pulled my hand back down I saw that it was too bloody, and it finally clicked. 

He had hurt me.

"It was an accident." I said to him as I looked back. I pulled myself up a little so that I was sitting next to him with my legs across his lap. "Baby, you didn't mean to." I repeated. 

"I'm so sorry." he spoke again this time not too far above a whisper. His eyes squeezed shut and more tears fell down his cheeks. He was obviously trying to hard not to seem so vulnerable, he felt so bad about this...I just knew it. I moved again, taking his cheeks in both of my hands and pulled his face to mine. 

I kissed him deeply, and at first he didn't respond but eventually I felt his hand rest on my covered hips and his lips moved with mine. I could feel the blood drip down my nose and when I pulled back his eyes went a little wide. 

"Fuck." he whispered out taking his shirt again to wipe it off my face. 

"I'm fine." I mumbled. "I promise, I don't even remember how this happened." I took hold of his hand stopping his frantic wiping. 

His eyes met mine, and they were in such pain. "I cant tell you how sorry I am. I hurt you. I never meant to hurt you." 

I wrapped my arms around him, and he hugged me back holding me tight. "Baby, you didn't mean to. Accidents happen!" I tried reasoning with him. 

"I didn't realize I lost control like that...you shouldn't let me touch you again...I..." 

"Stop." I said not letting him say more. I pulled from him and his hands stayed on my back as I made him look me in the eye. 

A lightbulb clicked in my head, and a memory came flashing back to me. 

"It really will be an accident." 

"Namjoon, Jimin told me this was going to happen." I said as softly as I could. 

"What?!" He gasped out. 

"He told me the night he painted me." 

"Why didn't you say anything?" he asked in a strained voice. I could see more tears build in his eyes and I wiped them away before they could fall. 

"Baby it was an accident. When he painted me he painted a small red scar right here..." I pointed to my small injury. "...and he told me that it is going to be an accident." 

That's probably why Jimin looked so freaked out when he watched Namjoon carry my down to the stairs. Most likely he wanted to warn Namjoon. 

"Why didn't he tell me?....Why didn't YOU tell me?" he asked again this time a little angrier. 

"What would have been the point?" I asked him taking his hand in mind. I played with his fingers as he caught his breath calming himself. 

"I woud have been more carful...I wouldn't have gone nearly as hard" 

I smirked. "Well that right here. That's why I didn't say anything. I like it when you go hard on me." 

He furrowed his eye brows and gave me a disproving look. "Baby..." 

"Look, this was bound to happen eventually. We are a pretty active, and rough couple and at least it was something minor. 

He brought his hand up and wiped the cut again. "We need to get it cleaned." 

"Okay fine, but you have to promise me two things first." He nodded, gesturing for me to continue. "One, you have to take a shower with me, wash my hair, and give me a massage before bed. Maybe even go down on me." 

I made him crack a smile, and though he was fighting it, he was losing it. "Okay. I'd be happy to do that." He said kissing me on my lips. "What else?" 

"You have to swear to me, that you will not allow this to affect our sex life, or relationship." I said looking him deep in the eyes. "This was an accident, one time, and now we are learning from it, and moving forward. Okay?" I could see the hesitation in his eyes and I decided to play dirty. "If you don't promise me, and stick to your promise, no more blow jobs." 

His eyes widened and his mouth dropped a little in a wide smile. "But you love sucking my dick." he teased.

"And I'm willing to give it up if it means you're going to woe about this." 

He laughed. "Okay fine. I promise. It was just an accident." 

"Alright...then I will continue to give you blow jobs." I said and kissed him on the neck. 

He groaned and I could feel him start to harden against me. 

"Already?" I teased with a laugh. 

"You're sitting here, naked, talking about blow jobs...forgive me." he laughed. 

I moved to straddle his hips and now we were skin to skin. I placed soft kisses down his neck, sucking at the spots I know he likes most. I heard him groan a little and take a tight hold of my waist.

"Maybe we should fuck right here right now, just one more time to seal the deal we made." 

He became completely hard once I finished my words and I felt his breath heavy against my collar bone. 

"Yes please." he breathed. 

I moved my hips to position above his cock, and slowly slid down him until he was fully inside of me. We both groaned in pleasure, and I took a deep breath before I started moving again. 

Damn, I love him.

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