Falling In Love

Chapter 40 • 2010

Aleasha

I was adamant that I was going to stay with Danny and push aside my feelings but months later I still hadn't made up my mind entirely. Yet I still decided to make the decision a few months later. Without knowing what that decision was. The boys were spending some time in Australia again and were staying in the same house as before and I thought that it would be a good place to do it. Where this mess all began - where Tom told me he loved me. I was only going out for a week because I had a new job back in England - I started it a few months ago and was so committed to it...I'd opened up my own dance school! I'd always loved dance, for all my life, but had never really been able to afford lessons. But when Tom and Danny started up McFly and had started earning big money they both agreed they would pay for my lessons and I was so grateful. After years of lessons and savings I took the plunge and went for it. Now I had my own dance school in London and it was really successful. I probably had the boys to thank for a lot of that - for promoting it and getting all their fans to spread the word and, to be honest, a lot of the students were Galaxy Defenders, but I didn't mind. They weren't just coming for the chance to meet Danny Jones' girlfriend and beg for autographs and photos of him, they were really committed to dance. That's what they were there for, not me. And I did of course have students that weren't there because of McFly, they were normal girls who wanted to learn dance. So that's why I was only coming out for a week. All the others were already out there so I had the whole flight to think but I still wasn't sure.

When I got out there everyone seemed please to see me, especially Danny and Tom. We had lunch - well they did, I wasn't really hungry - then made our way to the beach. We stayed there all afternoon and on the way back I hung back from the rest of the group with Tom and took a deep breath.

"Tom...do you still love me?" I said quietly so no one else would hear.

"Well...what would you say if I said yes?..." He said slowly.

"I guess I would say...that I love you too." I whispered. He stopped walking abruptly.

"What?" He said.

"I love you too Tom." I repeated.

"But-but you love Danny. Don't you?" He asked.

"Yes but...I love you too. And I don't really know what to do. I don't know who to choose Tom. If I break up with Danny so many things could go wrong. But if I stay with him...well how do I know I'm not going to change my mind when it's too late?" I rambled, not really sure why I was confessing all of this to Tom.

"I don't know Aleasha. You're the one who has to make a choice. And make it quick." He said.

"What do you mean Tom...?" I asked, confused.

"I mean make up your mind. I want to know. I'll be in my room later. Just tell me. Whatever your decision Aleasha, I need to know." He said before walking off.

I thought about it all afternoon. I locked myself in my room but by the time it came to it I still hadn't made up my mind. But I had to. I walked up to the corridor and looked at the two doors on either side of me. Right here, right now I had to make a decision that would change the rest of my life. I had to go in and tell both of them something. I just had to decide what I was going to tell them...I started with Danny. The door on my right. I knocked before opening it and walked over to the bed with shaking hands. Shaking everything.

"Danny, can we talk?" I asked with a quivering voice.

"Yeah, what's up?" He asked.

"S-something's happened. And it's changed things." I started, not quite sure where I was going. I still hadn't made up my mind. Danny or Tom? I had about a minute before I had to make up my mind. My word choices were either 'him' or 'you'. I was just going to let my heart decide and say whichever word came out of my mouth at the time.

"What? What's happened, are you okay? You're not pregnant are you? Oh god, please don't tell me you're dying." Danny said, taking his hands in mine and asking loads of questions.

"No, no, nothing like that. It's, well, there's someone else." I said and saw Danny's face fall.

"Oh. Who is he?" He asked with disappointment evidently in his voice.

"It's-it's Tom." I said.

"Tom? What? You've cheated on me with Tom?" Danny asked jumping to the wrong conclusion.

"No, I haven't slept with him. Ever. It's different. A lot different. I - I love him." I whispered. But this still wasn't over. Far from it.

"Oh...so you don't love me?" Danny whispered back. I swallowed and felt the lump in the back of my throat. My eyes were stinging with tears and I felt one spill and roll down my cheek.

"I still love you Danny. I do. I love you so much. I just - I love him too." I said as I tried not to choke on my words and tears. Danny nodded.

"So what now?" He whispered, clearly as devastated about the situation as I was.

"I need to choose Danny. I have to. I love you so much but things probably won't be the same. Not now I know Tom and I both love each other." I said. I was making this harder than it needed. The longer I dragged this out the harder it got. I needed to cut to it.

"Okay." Danny said, closing his eyes and nodding.

"I have to choose. And I'm not sure, to be honest." I was rambling again. Let your heart decide, Aleasha, I thought to myself. "I choose him." I whispered as I closed my eyes and let the tears roll down my cheeks. I didn't want to look at Danny. I wasn't crying because I was disappointed with my own decision. It was just so hard. I opened my eyes and saw Danny with his head bent down and eyes closed. I saw a tear drop onto the bed and watched it stain the sheet and spread. "I'm sorry Danny." I whispered before I took my hands out of his grasp and walked out the room, shutting it softly behind me. Tears were rolling fast down my cheeks and as I thought about my decision I knew I was right, and I thought about something I'd once heard. 'If you fall in love with someone else then choose them. Because if you really loved the other you would never have fallen in love with someone else.' I wiped my tears with the back of my hand and took a deep breath before knocking on Tom's door. I heard some scuffling before he opened the door a little. When he saw my face he opened it more than just a crack.

"Aleasha?" He said quietly.

"I choose you Tom." I said as my face broke into a smile. He smiled back before we hugged and I buried my head in his shoulder. Then I pulled away again. "But Tom, this has to work. If it doesn't our friendship will be ruined. And please don't ever let this change things with you and Danny. I still want you to both be best friends. You're more like brothers and I never want to come in between that. Okay?" I said. Tom wiped away the tear that had broken free and was rolling down my cheek as he nodded. He pulled me back in and whispered, "I love you Aleasha."

"I love you too Tom." I whispered back.