Falling In Love

Chapter 10 • 2002

Aleasha

I was now eighteen and had gotten really depressed. I'd been in a serious relationship with a boy I really liked but every time I brought up 'the bedroom situation' he came up with some petty excuse. After two years of excuses and a lack of intimacy he came out. Yep, for the last two years I'd been dating a guy who turned out to be gay. I was upset and confused but mostly angry. I loved him and was thinking I would be spending the rest of my life with him and he didn't think about my feelings for one minute, instead deciding to wait two years before telling me he was gay. Two years of wasting my time. I didn't understand why he stayed with me for so long - if he was interested in boys then why didn't he tell me rather than wimping out and kissing me, pretending he loved me back? When he told me I was at his house and I slapped him, smashed the ornament on his coffee table and yelled my head off at him. I stormed out of the house and cried my eyes out for hours. When I'd finished I felt awful. I wasn't angry at him because he was gay - I had no problem with that (well, I guess I did - I loved him and wanted him to love me back) - but because he hadn't told me. But then I guess it took a lot of courage for him to tell me because it couldn't have been easy, so once I'd stopped crying I phoned him up and apologised. He was understanding but still sounded upset and hung up suddenly after a few minutes which made me feel worse. I phoned Tom and he came round and comforted me while I cried my eyes out once again. He was the best friend ever and he just sat on my bed with me, holding me as I cried and not saying any silly words that were meant to comfort me. He knew well enough that I didn't need that, just for someone to hold me and be there for me.

It was around November when I realised just how depressed I was. Tom asked me and Diana to go round to his because he wanted to tell us something. I walked in and standing in the living room was the most beautiful boy I'd ever seen. Ever. He had bright blue eyes and perfect dark brown hair and everything about him was perfect. He made my heart skip a beat and all of a sudden it felt as if I was on top of the world, the sun's rays shining down on me and lighting up my world like nothing else. He looked at me and smiled and I realised I was still smiling back at him so tried to play it cool by coughing and leaning against the door frame. Instead, I slipped and ended up falling on the floor and banging my head on the corner of the side unit. I saw little spots at the edge of my vision and heard little murmurs, then realised that Tom and this other boy were knelt down by me asking if I was okay. I saw a little puddle of blood on the floor, threw up all over the boy then passed out.

I came to a little while later and saw some stranger kneeling over me. I was still lying down and felt really sick, not helped by the confusion of what had happened, where everyone else was and who the hell this person was. I felt something over my mouth and sat up trying to rip it off me but ended up puking again - this time on myself. The woman rested me back down and then I realised - I was on a stretcher in the back of an ambulance. Great.

I wasn't in the hospital for long, luckily, just a few hours while they checked me over and tidied me up. I had blood in my hair, vomit on my clothes and had to have stitches in my head. Luckily though I had a very very minor concussion - the only thing I couldn't remember was why I was at Tom's and what had happened. I went round Tom's house and saw them cleaning the floor where I presumed I fell. Oh yeah. I'd been sick. Then I saw the boy wearing a pair of Tom's jeans and helping him clean the floor.

"Guys, I am so, so sorry. I didn't mean to - well, you know." I apologised. Then I looked towards the boy. "I'm sorry I threw up on you..." I muttered, feeling absolutely mortified at what had happened. I didn't even know his name yet. Not quite how I hoped things would pan out.

"It's fine. Don't worry. I'll put me trousers in the wash when I get home." He said in a voice like honey. God, that accent was adorable. I could feel my knees going weak and prayed that I wouldn't fall over, but I think the boys noticed I was all wobbly and rushed over, sitting me down on the sofa.