Insecure {AUGUST ALSINA}

26.

First of all, there's so much I want to say. Firstly thanks for 13k (I was kind of in competition with my last book which made it to 13k at chapter 28 -This book won) ALSOOOO you guys this book was number one in self love and #2 in AUGUST ALSINA with 1000 plus stories. Sooo that's like huge for me because it's the highest ranks I've gotten on any book and all I can say is thank you so much for reading and supporting. I love all of you (even though I don't know any of you)

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I made sure I was starved so that I can sit at this table and act like the thought of of Christian doesn't make me sick to my stomach.

I sit across from her in absolute silence as she cluelessly looks at the menu. She looks so gorgeous and seems so well put together that it's hard to believe she gave birth to me. She radiates natural elegance and looks flawless doing so. I can't help but wonder how I would've turned out had she raised me.

I feel so out of place. Even Christian managed to look poise in a nice, fitted black suit. He cleans up so nicely you'd never guess he's bat-shit crazy. I don't think I can fit in with them, and to say I tried my hardest I feel like I haven't reached the expectation.

"How'd you two meet?" My mother speaks without looking up from the menu.

I think she's afraid to make eye contact with me.

"Circumstance." Christian answers before I get the chance to.

"Yep. Almost like one of us planned it out before hand."

He clears his throat and fakes a chuckle. There's no way in the world this is the same guy. Why is he even here? To soothe the tension? To make sure I'm always reminded that he's the only reason this is happening? To monitor everything we talk about?

She quickly glances down at her phone for like the 30th time tonight.

"Somewhere you have to be?" I can't stop myself from asking.

She missed 20 years of my life and can't bother to give me her undivided attention for an hour or so.

"Oh, no. I'm sorry.Catarina is having a crisis at practice and I'm trying to talk her through it." She explains as she types on her phone quickly.

"Catarina is a diva." Christian advises me as if we were friends.

Katrina only chuckles before closing her phone and laying it flat down on the table.

"What does she play?"

I try to be understanding, but it doesn't seem genuine. I know that she has another kid to tend to, one she actually knows and who she watched grow up.

"She's on the cheer team."

I nod my head in response, like I know anything about cheering.

"Were you on any teams in high school?" She asks me, trying to make the conversation more about me than her daughter- well her other daughter.

I refrain from telling her that she'd know if she had been there.

"No. I wasn't interested." I shrug.

Maybe I would've been if I had grown up under different circumstances. I didn't have much of an opportunity to become interested in any sports or clubs. The only thing I had to take my mind off of my miserable life was my imagination.

Although in my mind I would be apart of teams and clubs that wasn't the reality. I guess I was interested just not equipped.

"Why not?" She inquires.

I can tell that she wants to know more about me but asking all of these irrelevant questions before we've even touched on the basics really doesn't do much for either of us.