Insecure {AUGUST ALSINA}

27.

"Why are you doing this?" I ask Christian as he walks down the parkway without a care in the world.

"because I can." He shrugs.

"I know you can, but that's not what I meant."

I wouldn't say that I want to get to know him, because then it seems like I'm trying to be understanding and build a bond with him. Really, I just want to know why. I want to know why he gets a thrill off of making others miserable, I want to know how he doesn't feel any regret as he does this.

Had he even given this a second thought?

"You put me in an impossible situation, and all I've done is work with what you've given me-"

"Only because I didn't give you a choice. Don't act like you've been compliant." He cuts me off to correct my misjudgment.

"I have been compliant! If I wasn't you'd probably be dead."

"No. If I had left everything up to you and your ridiculous emotions, I'd be dead. Lucky for the both of us I have my ways to make sure I get what I want exactly how I want it."

"Don't make your problems mine." I fold my arms and glare at him.

He keeps saying 'us' like he's doing me a favor. Maybe he thinks we're in this together although I've made it very clear that we're not.

Christian just shakes his head. I don't know why I hate it so much when he doesn't respond to what I'm saying. I just hate being ignored, especially if it's by the insensitive asshole who owes me answers.

"You never talk about your family even though you claim to love them unconditionally. Why is that?" I say while I fidget with my fingers.

"Why should I?" Christian turns to me, shrugging his shoulders like he always does. "Just because you ramble about your mother all day doesn't mean I have to talk about my family."

"Yeah... I know, but you never say anything about them. Why? Do you hate them? Do they hate you now?"

"Neither." He leaves his response short.

"Then what is it?"

"There just isn't much to talk about. Why would you care anyway?"

"I don't I guess. It's just that all you ever talk about is murder murder murder. Kill this- kill that." I mimic his words in a monotone voice. "Oh and accuse me of being an ungrateful brat and a liar."

"because I like to focus on what's important while it's important. If I get distracted by small stuff- like telling you my life story, I lose sight of what I'm here to do."

I roll my eyes at him.

How is it that he always manages to wiggle his way around my questions? It's always with an answer that he knows will make me drop the subject for now. This time, it won't be that easy.

"You've ruined my life for good. The least you could do is answer a question about them."

"Fine." He lets out an uninterested sigh. "They're dead. Happy?"

My jaw drops in shock. I don't know what I've expected him to say, but it wasn't that.

"How'd they die?"

"It was a bad accident. Frankly, it's really none of your business, and if you keep asking all these questions you won't live to tell someone the story of your friend's death."

"I thought you said you wouldn't kill me." I swallow, no longer feeling as confident with my words.

"I changed my mind."