Insecure {AUGUST ALSINA}

32

STAY TUNED!^^

I tap my foot on the ground, listen to my heels clink each time they collide with the floors, and count the pattern to tune out the music behind me.

I just can't get with the whole celebration after a funeral thing. People bonding over food and music after we all just cried our hearts out. I can't stand it. I couldn't even listen to music on the drive here.

So, I stand by the drink fountain sipping on Sprite and watching everyone else. The fact that I don't know anyone and no one knows me has something to do with me being antisocial.

Even Christian, who is apparently not a lunatic, (which is still so hard for me to process) is mingling with everyone. Him and Catarina fit right in. Those are the children everyone know, they look alike, act alike contrary to their beliefs, and get along just fine.

I, on the other hand am a complete outcast wherever I go.

A man walks up to the soda fountain and grabs a cup. I'm doing such a good job blending in with the wall that he doesn't acknowledge me.

He whistles to the song that plays as he fixes himself a drink. From my peripheral vision I see him glance at me. He does a double take and steps back.

His disbelief definitely isn't caused by the fact that I'm not talking to anyone.

"Do I know you?" I raise a somewhat annoyed eyebrow.

"Well I don't believe it." He mumbles to himself.

"You don't believe what?"

"You're her daughter aren't you?"

Something about the way he refers to my mother as 'her' sends me the message that this isn't a pleasant surprise.

"Uhm.. yeah, I am. Who are you?"

"That's not important."

A strange man walks up to me, knows who I am, but who he is should remain a mystery. Pretty much sounds like an event that would happen in my life, so I'm not even shocked.

I'm annoyed at the very least.

I choose to not answer him, maybe it'll make him walk away. I turn back around when he doesn't move. He looks like an older, more mature version of Christian. However, he looks too old to be our father. Then again, you never know.

"Is there something I can do for you?!" I roll my eyes.

"Oh." He raises an eyebrow, taken back by my attitude. "I know you don't know me, but it is I'll advised to use that tone with strangers."

My eyes widen. He's my grandfather. He's the reason I grew up wondering why my mother didn't want me, he's the one to blame for all my anger. It's because of him, that her death hurts me so deeply.

I can't even find the energy to be mad at him. It just feels like whatever I say won't matter. She's gone, because of that everything is pointless.

"Especially psycho, controlling strangers who murder people in front of their children and then have the audacity to make the assumption that her own children would be better off without her." I glare at him as I speak.

He nods his head like he's agreeing with me. What is there to agree with? I haven't known this man for five minutes and I hate him already.

"I only did what I thought was right." He shrugs. "She was too young, and if you or your brother stayed with us you probably wouldn't be standing here today."

"Didn't you say children were weaknesses? Don't act like you did it to protect us." I can hear the venom laced in my voice.

"I never said I did. I didn't. I did it for selfish reasons, but either way here you are. What's there to be upset about?"