Insecure {AUGUST ALSINA}

48.

I know that I always say that "these last couple of days have been rough". To be fair, there's never a week in my life where I don't have consecutive bad days. In fact, there's never a waking hour when my life isn't going downhill. No moment except when I'm with Ashton. That's when I feel happy, he's like a fresh breath of air after drowning for so long

I lay on top of Ashton, chest to chest, so close that I can feel the beats of his heart against my own.

"Since I'm already here...." I'm hesitant to ask, but I have to. My cheeks turn red from pre-mature embarrassment. "Can we do the airplane?"

"What is that?" He quirks one of his eyebrows, already looking amused.

"You've never done it? It's when you put someone on your feet and you lift your legs and boom they're flying!"

I sound way more exited than I should be as I sit on the back of my legs.

"You want to fly?" He laughs.

"Yes. Do it. Don't drop me though, I'll never forgive you."

"Okay." He agrees.

I turn around and position myself correctly. In a way where I won't fall when he lifts me up. I intertwine our fingers for the safety of my balance.

I giggle when I feel him slightly raise me in the air. Ashton holds me up with his legs bent and I smile.

"Is this it?" He laughs.

"Well... you have to move your legs and make it fun. Be creative."

"Creative?" He raises an eyebrow. "Like this?" He leans his legs further to the right causing me to tilt slightly.

The sound of childlike laughters escapes my mouth. "No!" I exclaim, squeezing his hands tighter.

"Then, do you prefer this?" He straightens his legs out, causing me to be higher in the air when he moves them forward.

"Okay. I quit." I chuckle.

Ashton holds my waist as he moves his feet from under me so that I don't fall. Once I'm sitting beside him on the bed I check the time.

How could it possibly be 12 a.m!?? It feels like I just got here. I'm so comfortable that I don't even want to leave him.

"I have to go home." I frown, looking at him with sad eyes.

"No. Why?" He playfully groans.

"because.. I don't have any clothes. Or a toothbrush, or pretty much anything I need to look presentable the next day."

"You can leave early in the morning though." He sighs. "I have cinnamon rolls and ice cream, and I'll order food—anything you want."

I smile at his attempt to convince me to stay. "No. You have work tomorrow anyway."

"How do you know that?"

"I'm not a stalker!" I announce, laughing. "I just know because I was in the hospital and I know what days I did and didn't see you."

"You have a point." He accepts defeat with a sigh. "Well, can I have a kiss?"

"Just one." I smile as I lean over to peck his lips.

"That wasn't even a real one." He objects.

"Oops. Got to go, can't hear you!" I respond as I put everything that's mine back into my bag and walk towards the door. "See you later. I'll let myself out."

I hear Ashton chuckle behind me as I close the door to his bedroom. I can feel the enlightened smile on my face as I float down the stairs in a sense of highness. Like I'm drifting into this glorious state of delight. For a moment I feel like I'm crazy, but the smile on my face won't go away. I have no control over it, and for the first time in my life, controlling my emotions doesn't even matter.