Insecure {AUGUST ALSINA}

44.

I always say this- but this chapter is dead ass long as hell. (But it's a happy one so yay)

"CHRISTIANNN!" Catarina shouts at the top of her lungs from the living room door.

I shoot up from the couch, right out of my deep sleep, in sheer panic. My heart beats fast and I can barely adjust my eyesight before I'm trying to stand up and see what's wrong.

As soon as I stand up I feel dizzy and my vision is spotting, so I stand still for a while. Then, after a brief recollection, I smile at the first thought that comes to mind.

Today is my birthday.

Well Christian and I's birthday. Today we make 21.

When Christian runs down the stairs with his sweatpants on backwards and no shirt, I know that she woke him up out of his sleep to.

"I told you to be awake by seven o'clock. We have a really busy day ahead of us. Happy birthday." She slides in the last part to seem thoughtful. "now come bring this inside for me."

"Happy Birthday." I smile when he walks past me.

"Happy what?" He furrows his eyebrows in pretend confusion. "Sorry, but I only know one birthday person today."

"Why?" I huff. "I thought we were going to celebrate together."

Christian drags in a huge table display from outside of the house. Behind him, Catarina has a giant monogram in her hand that spells out my initials. They're written in rose gold glitter and they shine when the light from the door hits them.

"Gift table goes in the back." She directs him. "Happy Birthday." She turns around and smiles at me.

"Thank you." I try to manage a smile, but I can't stop staring at the big table and letters in her hand.

I told myself that today I would remain positive and try to have the best day possible. In order to do that, I have to stray away from making smart remarks and just learn to appreciate things and be happy about them.

I'm confused about the table, but it's nice and I like it. So I refrain from making a snarky comment about it.

Once Christian covers the table in a opaque rose gold table cover, he sits the monogram of my initials on top of it.

I walk into the dining room, where they've cleared all the furniture to make space, and I smile. I see a bunch of ornaments and other things that need to be hung up.

"Why isn't anything for Christian?" I ask Catarina quietly as she straights little stars on the gift table.

"because he hates birthdays. We tried to give him a party when he turned 19 and he was a real asshole about it. So we both agreed to let today be all about you, because you deserve it."

"That's..... sweet."

I don't really like having everyone's attention on me, but I guess it can't be so bad. Today is my birthday. It's an excuse to not be so mad all the time, and I'm taking it.

Despite everything that's happened recently, I'm still able to manage my semi-okay behavior.

"Catarina!" The familiar voice of my mother sings from the front door.

It fills my heart with an undeniable joy. A warm smile takes over my face in a matter of seconds. I haven't spoken to her that much in these recent months; after the incident that happened at our house, it just didn't feel the same. I felt wrong talking to her, like she would look at me differently because of what happened.