Insecure {AUGUST ALSINA}

41

"Why didn't you hide as soon as you heard? Did you plan on dying!?" Without sparing another moment for relief I get straight to the point.

"Well I did, but then I instantly felt bad for all the people who didn't know where to run. At first I was like life or death every man for himself, but then they had this little girl who- I guess she just froze up out of fear- I couldn't leave her there. If she would've died I feel like it would've been on me." He explains with so much sincerity in his tone that I feel myself looking at him in awe.

'What is there to be in awe about?'- I know. But he's the only person I know who isn't filled with self preservation. I would've locked myself in a room so fast that I wouldn't have had time to see anyone who I could've helped. Every person I know would've done the same.

"When I went to help her there was so much happening at once that I couldn't even focus on getting the both of us to safety. I told her where to run so I could help the guy who fell beside me." He keeps going. "Then it just seemed like everyone needed me and I didn't know how to run away from it, next thing I know I'm stuffed in a closet with ten people and trying to stop blood from my own wound."

"That sound intense." I give him a look of pity. The same look that I despise when it's on the face of someone else and directed towards me.

"It was messy. I had to get my wound stitched while stitching someone else's and I'm pretty sure one of the children in there peed on themselves."

"How are you not completely traumatized?"

"I probably am." He shrugs. "It's too early to tell, but I expected crazy things to happen working at a hospital. Not that crazy... but in school they do teach you to expect absolutely anything so I guess... that explains the serenity ."

"You're such an idiot!" I push his shoulder in frustration.

Now that all the worry and fear has simmered, my anger bubbles to the top. How could he be so stupid? So selfless?

It makes me selfish that I wish he would've put himself first. It makes me ever more selfish because I wish he'd done it so I didn't lose him.

"Ow." He grabs his shoulder and glares at me. I've never seen someone give me such a soft 'harsh' look.

"Sorry." I glance at the ground. The empathy only last for about five seconds. "You're just... so stupid.

"Ashton!" A soft female voice squeals from the doorway.

She comes in such a haste that I jump away from the bed.

I gawk at her like she's insane. All I hear is the sound of her Louboutins clicking against the hard hospital floors. The cream colored Chanel purse is her hand matches the linen around her white vintage blazer. Her hair is dark and pushed back in a bouncy roller set.

She looks too young to be his mother, way too fancy to be an acquaintance; I can't tell what she is. She does look like a lawyer though.

"Look at you." She sighs. The way she gently places her hand on the side of his face lets me that she is not a friend. "You're so pale. You're insane too."

He moves away from her embrace looking slightly annoyed by her. Maybe she is a friend?

"Who are you?" She looks up at me. When her coffee colored eyes pierce through my skin, I immediately recognize her.

I look at her with a poker face. Obviously she knows who I am, we've had class together. In fact, I vividly remember her going out of her to make sure I saw all the nasty looks she'd give me.