Okay, Maybe I'm A Bit Gay

S E V E N

~ Chapter 7 ~

I was lying on my bed, staring up at the ceiling. I couldn't help but think about my date with Skyler. It was the most awkwardest thing that I've ever experienced in my life. I felt like everyone was staring at us and judging us. It didn't help that I sucked at conversing with him. I didn't even laugh at his terrible joke. It must suck to be gay and go through that everyday. The feeling of guilt and shame. Man, did I feel that. I would hate to be gay mainly for that reason.

I started to throw my pillow up and down and then I started thinking about that fight between Ashley and I. We haven't fought like that since ninth grade and honestly, I hated every moment of it. It made me sad all the way back home.

In high school, Ashley was the new girl in town and she was the new girl at our school. She was really pretty and all my football buddies were betting to see who could get with her first. I was pretty popular in High School and I was told by so many girls that I was the sexiest in the group so I partook in the bet and of course, I won, which I expected but I didn't expect to actually like Ashley.

I thought she was just going to be one of those girls who just fell into my arms and begged me to have sex with her but she was different. It most definitely took a while for her to let me in even a little and when I asked her out, she agreed to a date. I told my boys about it so they could watch me seal the deal with a kiss.

After our good date, I leaned in for a kiss and my boys messed everything up and came out with their phones and shit and that's when Ashley went off on me and we didn't talk for months. That's when I realized that I messed up and I stopped talking to all of them just because I wanted Ashley in my life.

Even if, it was just as friends. I just bonded with her so much and couldn't picture life without her and then when Sophomore year came around, we were lab partners and we became best friends. We promised each other to just strictly be best friends and the rest was history.

~x~

I heard my door creak open and without looking, I knew it was my siblings. "What do you shitheads want?"

Dawson chuckled and Mai shushed him. I sat up and threw my pillow at the door.

"Might as well come in. I know you two are there."

My door creaked and then squeaked open. Dawson came in first and then Mai.

"So, tell us the tea!" Dawson exclaimed as he belly flopped onto my bed.

Mai just walked over to my bed while rolling her eyes at Dawson. "You're always doing extra stuff for no reason." She then turned to me and sat next to me. "But I am curious to hear about this date."

I sighed. "Well, I can tell you guys that it was yet another fail."

Mai smacked her lips. "Dang it. What about her did you not like this time?"

Dawson sat up. "I think you need to lower your impossible standards because at this rate you won't get any girls."

I chuckled as I pushed Dawson a bit. "My standards were lowered in high school for just a pretty girl but now I want a pretty girl with a personality."

"An unrealistic goal if you ask me," Dawson said.

"Well, I didn't ask you."

"Well you asked me in my head."

Mai slapped the bed and startled both Dawson and I. "Dawson, shut the heck up! I want Alvin to answer my question!"

Dawson rolled his eyes and flipped her off. 

"So what didn't you like about her?" Mai asked for a second time.

"Well, first off, she wasn't a her. It was a him."

Dawson and Mai gasped and looked at me wide-eyed. Dawson snorted. "No way! You went on date with a guy?" I just nodded. "Damn it, lucky you."

"No, not lucky me."

"Wait, so did you just get up and leave him when you found out he wasn't a girl? Because if you did, you should've stayed and had him pay for the food," Mai said.

"That's so messed up, Mai," Dawson said. He then turned to me. "Please tell me you just left him instead of what Mai said."

"I didn't leave him because I would've felt bad and I actually paid for the both us."

"Well, that's nice of you. I think you should've given him a chance, though."

"Dawson, I'm not gay like you."

He quickly checked the door and then he looked back at me and shushed me. "You need to keep your voice down. I don't want anyone else knowing yet."

"I'm sorry."

"But I think you should've actually gave him an actual chance because you never know. You don't have to be sexually attracted to him to date him," Dawson said.

"Bro, that doesn't even make sense."

"Sexual attraction and romantic attraction are two different things, Al. You should educate yourself."

"Okay, then date a girl."

"I already did."

"Get out. Both of you just get out. Making my head hurt."

"What? But I didn't even say anything!" Mai exclaimed.

"Out now or I'm telling mom!"