Okay, Maybe I'm A Bit Gay

T H I R T Y - F O U R

~ Chapter 34 ~

"ARE YOU READY TO tell me what's going on?" Ashley asked.

I just stared down at my lap. I kept replaying my break outs with both Saya and Kabelo but mostly Kabelo, in my head.

"I hurt him. I hurt them both but I really hurt Kabelo." I looked over at her. "He told me he hated me Ashley."

"I don't think he meant that."

"I wouldn't be mad at him if he did." I sighed as I looked outside at the cars we passed.

"Is there a possibility that the only reason why you paired me up with Kabelo was because you liked him?" I looked over at her and she briefly looked over at me. "Do you like Kabelo or is it more than that now?"

My bottom lip started to tremble and I nodded. "Ashley, I don't understand it but I do really really like him. At first, I was thinking that maybe it was just a bro bond and that we would be good friends but then after our night in the closet, I couldn't stop thinking of him and dreaming of him. It was all so confusing to me and it scared me. I didn't know who I was anymore and I just wanted to hang on to the self I knew well. The straight me not the me that possibly liked boys or specifically, a boy."

"I get that but Alvin you can't run away from things like this. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I barely understood it myself! I didn't know how to tell you that I might have been gay or bi or whatever the hell I am. I couldn't just be like, oh hey Ashley, I kissed your future husband."

She gasped. "Shut up. You two kissed?"

I nodded and then told her about the trip and how I progressively got more and more attached to him. I even told her when I got jealous and that was when I knew it was more than just a friendship.

"Wow. You really should've told me, Alvin or at least Dawson. If anyone would understand you, it could probably be him."

"Y-you're right. Maybe I should talk to him." I wiped my eyes and smiled. "Thanks for listening."

"Of course."

Then came the silence. The awkward silence that made me want to stick a sword through my throat.

"So it looks like neither of us are winning this bet, huh?"

I chuckled. "It's not too late. I could still find you someone."

"Maybe I could call Skyler back and you two could give it another whirl."

I snorted. "Yeah, no. I only like one dick and that's Kabelo's."

"That was...the gayest thing you have ever said in your whole entire life."

We both laughed and it honestly felt good. Probably the best laugh I've had in a while. Maybe it was because that laugh was the laugh that ended the awkward tension. That laugh was the laugh of Ashley accepting me for who I was and that nothing was going to change between us because I liked a boy.

I loved Ashley. I'm glad she was my best friend.

~x~

When I came into the house, everything was silent. No T.V. was playing, no food was cooking, I didn't hear no one talking and I wondered why but then it came to me.

I quickly ran upstairs and went straight into Dawson's room. He wasn't in there.

"Oh no," I muttered. "Mai!" I called out as I made my way to her room. She didn't answer. I knocked on her door a few times before I slowly opened it. Dawson was sitting in front of her getting his makeup done. "Hey, why didn't you answer me when I called?"