Okay, Maybe I'm A Bit Gay

T W E N T Y - N I N E

~ Chapter 29 ~

"HERE IT IS," he said.

We were standing in front of a playground. There were plenty of kids playing on it. Some went down the slide, others climbed the monkey bars and one kid was even trying to eat the wood chips---kids were gross.

"So why exactly did you bring me here?" I looked around and saw nothing special about the place. There were just a bunch of people there, barbecuing and chatting in their red, white and blue attire.

"Because this used to be my favorite playground. This is where I met the first person I think I ever loved. I was thirteen then so maybe it wasn't love but it sure did feel like it."

He started to walk off. "Follow me."

I followed. We walked for a while to a bunch of trees that he had me walk through. It felt like I was going to some whole new world and I felt like I was going to be surprised by a lake filled with golden fishes and mermaids.

"Where are we going?" I asked and then we stopped.

We were on a trail by a sign that read, "The Rabbit Trail." "This is it."

"What?"

"This is where I almost had my first kiss...with a guy," he said as he traced his fingers over the engraved letters. "His name was Sedrick Dallas and we went to the same middle school together. We started off as really good friends and the more we spent time together, the more I felt myself falling harder and harder for him. One day, we came to this park and had one of the best days of our lives and then he took me to this exact spot and told me that he had feelings for me. Feelings that friends shouldn't have felt for each other."

He dropped his hand and then sighed. "Then, that's when he took my face but when I tried to kiss him, he moved away and said that it wasn't right. After that, we kind of just grew apart but I swear I was in love with that kid. First person that I fell for."

"And how did you know that?" He looked at me with raised brows. "How does one know when they are in love?"

"You have never been in love before?"

I shrugged. "Maybe. Maybe once."

"What was her name?"

"Ashley, actually."

"Oh. Are you still in love with her?"

"I don't think so. We're just really good friends now but there's this person that has been taking over my mind lately and it's hard for me to not think about that person."

He hummed. "I could say the same. I would say you know when you're in love when there's this person that you can't stop thinking about. This person makes you feel warm inside and whenever you're around them, you find yourself having a good time. So good of a time that you get sad when they leave. I get this warm feeling in my body whenever I look at this person or touch this person in the slightest of bits and I try my hardest to impress them. I even get jealous sometimes, I guess."

"Right..."

"I don't know. I just know when I'm in love, you know?"

"I think I get it."

He sighed and then took a step towards me. "Alvin, I brought you here because I wanted to share something with you. Over the past weeks we have been talking and hanging out, I found myself getting more and more connected to you and it has gotten so bad that it drives me insane."

"Me too," I said as my body moved a bit closer to him.

He chuckled. "No, I don't think you get it. Like it makes me sad when we're not around each other and I'm only really happy when I'm with you."

"I understand that because me too."

He sighed. "Look, Alvin, I'm kind of..." he started to chuckle.

"What?"

"This is weird. I shouldn't even say this."

"Dude, what?" I asked as I took a step towards him.

"It's nothing. We should probably head back now."

He tried to walk past me but I grabbed his arm and made him face me. "No, tell me." I gulped as I stared into his eyes. "Please." I just wanted him to admit it first. I wanted him to say what I knew he had to say.

He looked down and shook his head. "I can't. I'm sorry." He took his arm away from me and then started to walk off.

"Kabelo." He didn't stop walking. "Kabelo, I think I'm in love."

That got him to stop. He turned to me. "I'm just going to say it. Alvin, I'm sorry but I don't care! I don't want to hear you tell me about this girl you think you're in love with because Alvin, you might hate me for this but I'm in love with you! I liked you the first day we met and as we spent time together before and after this trip, I couldn't help but to picture you in my life, in my future, forever! I can't help but to think about sleeping in your arms, kissing you and telling you that I love you every night before bed. I want to be more than just best fr-"

I kissed him. I stormed up to him and I pressed my lips against his to make him shut up. I kissed him because I wanted to and it felt right. It started off with a peck and then a long gaze in the eyes and then I went back in for more.

I was jealous of that Ashton guy because I was afraid that he was going to take away something that mattered. I was jealous because I wanted Kabelo first.

So I kissed him but afterward, I regretted everything.