Okay, Maybe I'm A Bit Gay

T H I R T Y - F I V E

~ Chapter 35 | Saturday, July 20th ~

"MOM. DAD. I'M GAY AND there's nothing you two could do to change that. Either accept it or don't because I don't care. I'm tired of living in the closet. It's about time I live my life."

Even though our parents absolutely didn't accept it, Dawson was okay. He was so comfortable with himself that it didn't matter to him and that's all that mattered. My parents said nothing to him but Mai and I was there for him because he was always there for us. Especially, me.

He was my role model and I looked up to him even though, I was several inches taller than him and a few years older. The truth was that he was more grown up than I was.

Kabelo was right, I did have a lot of growing up to do and I was trying my best to make things right between him. I called and texted him but no replies. On my way to work, I called him just to leave another voicemail but I didn't even get the option to. Turns out, he ended up blocking me after a week of annoying him.

"Damn," I muttered as I tossed my phone to the side.

I went into work and that time, Zoey, didn't even bother saying hi to me when I walked in. Which, I get because I had been pretty mute for a while but all of that was going to end.

"Good morning, Zoey!" I greeted as I entered the building.

"Oh, hey? How are you?" She asked.

I smiled. "I'm okay. Thanks for asking."

As usual, I saw James walking back to the break room and I hurried to join him on his walk there. "What's up?"

He brushed my hand off that I slammed on his shoulder and just kept walking. He didn't even bother to look at me and that was just rude.

"Uh, James. What's the matter with you?" I watched as he punched in the code to open the break room door. "Jamsey, sweetie. What's going on?"

He went inside and I quickly followed in after him. He was starting to piss me off. "James!" I hollered. Since he didn't turn around, I grabbed a pen from the table and threw it at him.

As soon as the pen collided with his head he whipped his body around. "What? What the hell do you want?"

"Bro, chill. I actually need to talk to you."

"Fuck that! I see the only time you want to talk to me is when it's about you! Things aren't always about you, Alvin."

"Okay, bro then what's wrong with you? Why are you acting like such a bitch?"

"Maybe because I have the right to! You haven't talked to me for a while and now you're waltzing into the place like everything is just normal when it's not!"

"Chill, dude."

"What did you have to tell me? You wanted to tell me more about Ashley and how you found the perfect guy for her? I bet that's what you were going to tell me you insensitive prick! Well, newsflash! I don't care! I never cared because I like Ashley! I'm the perfect guy for Ashley!"

I just stood there and decided that it was better for me to just listen to him for once in my life. I don't know why it took me so long to realize it but it did.

"I always had a thing for Ashley since high school but when I found out that you were about to chase after her, I hung back and just kept it myself. Why do you think I was never happy when you talked about her? And whenever you would refer to her like an object, I would get so angry? Then, when you ruined Ashley and started to realize her worth, you started to fall for her and that sucked because I was already in love with her. Sophomore year, I tried to talk to her to make her feel better but her friend told me to stay away because I was your friend."

"That's messed up man."

"Mhm." He looked down at the ground. "But then you Ashley became besties so it was always awkward when she came around. Mainly because I was aware of your feelings for her and it seemed like she liked you as well. I was always a third wheel. Fast forward to now, I have always been dropping hints that I like Ashley and when I try to tell you stuff, you never listen like I don't matter so I just gave up."

"I'm sorry man. I don't even know why you stayed friends with me, to be honest. I would've stopped talking to me if I were you."

"Yeah, well, I guess it's like one of those abusive relationships. Even though you hurt me, I still see the good in you, the old you. The you I grew up with before all the popularity went to your head. You were way more caring and considerate. You used to put others feelings above your own."

"I need to start doing that more. I have been a shitty person to a lot of people lately, it seems." I took my seat and sighed.

James sighed and pulled up a chair in front of me. "I didn't mean to go off on you like that."

"No, I deserved it."

"So what's the matter with you? Who did you ruin things with?"

I wanted to chuckle but I couldn't even do it. It came out as just a breath. "Kabelo. The guy I picked out for Ashley." Before I continued, I knew I had to inform him about everything so I did. "And I think that I'm in love with him. Well, I know that I am."

"Woah so you're like, bisexual, huh?"

I shrugged. "I guess so but I don't really want to label myself right now. So I would like it if we don't."

"Right, got it. Just a person liking another person."

I smirked. "Yup." Then I sighed. "But I'm not sure if we'll ever be together. He officially blocked me and I don't know what to do. I'm an idiot."

"Well, that much is obvious."

"Yeah but enough about me. I want to help you get with the girl of your dreams. I want at least one of us to get the one we love."

James smirked. "Why not both? I know you and you're not the type to give up so why now?"

"You're right." We sat in silence for a few moments. "I have an idea."

"All ears."