Fix You

VII.

Alex's POV

It's been one day and I feel like a completely new person. I don't want to feel sad anymore, especially with the little time Michael is home. What I didn't bother mentioning to him this morning is that I had a therapy appointment which is why I left so early. It was cowardly of me to tell him I just needed to go home and get ready but the last thing I want is for him to ask questions. Luckily, I'm in a great mood and want to have a good time tonight. I picked us up some Panda Express to make up for running late. Michael answers the door in a snapback and cut off tank, completely catching me off guard. He immediately notices the food from Panda Express and a huge smile peeks past his deep red lips.

"Holy shit, I can't believe you remember what my order is." He says admiring the food. Of course, I do. He doesn't even look like he tried to look presentable and yet I can't stop staring. Why can't I look away? The green in his eyes is darker as he bites into his food. Why does my stomach hurt all of a sudden? When did he get those new tattoos? Why is it so hot in here? Fuck.

"Alex? Are you okay, babe?" He smirks waving his hand in front of my face. "What!? Oh! Yeah, I'm good." He brings his food to the couch and kicks his feet up on the coffee table. I force myself to eat even though I've suddenly lost my appetite. The loud alarm on my phone goes off and I sigh hoping Michael didn't notice. I head over to my bag and take my pill with a sip of water. When I sit back down next to Michael, he gestures for me to rest my head in his lap as he reaches for the video game controller. I actually looked down at his shorts but I didn't mean to. I kick my feet up on the arm of the chair and lay on Michael's thigh. He takes my hair out of the high ponytail and lays it across his lap, running his fingers through it. Just like he always used to. Except in this moment it feels different. Fuck.

His eyes are glued to the TV screen as he plays whatever video game it is he's addicted to this week. I look up at him as he cusses at the screen and the light from it brightens up his eyes. I try to distract myself by focusing on my phone but its not working. I look up just in time as he pulls the snapback from his head, messes with his hair, and puts the snapback back on, biting his lip. He throws his arms behind his head and stretches, giving off a soft moan. My whole body is on fire and I sit up quickly.

Michael pauses the game and his eyes are on me. "What's wrong?" I hope my face isn't as red as I think it is. "I, uh, I'm just sweating. I'm gonna change." He focuses back on the game and I rush to the bathroom.

I lock the door behind me and I can't help but stare at myself panting in the mirror. I have no idea why I'm feeling what I'm feeling but I know it's wrong. I feel like I'm going to throw up and my legs are weak. I've never felt like this before. What the fuck. I can't help but to smile at myself in the mirror because I feel so ridiculous. I unbutton my skinny jeans and remove my thick jumper, replacing them with yoga shorts and a Ramones t shirt. I breathe a few times to myself before I meet Michael back on the couch.

"Feel better?" He asks smiling, eyes still glued to the TV. "Yeah, much better." He smirks almost like he knows what I'm thinking. But I force myself to stop thinking overall.

My alarm sounds again since I forgot to dismiss it and I quickly grab my phone to shut it off. "Didn't you already take your pill?" Michael asks and now I know he saw me earlier. And before I can answer, he adds, "Wait, what pills are you taking?" Fuck. My chest feels heavy again. I don't even know how to answer. "It's nothing, honestly." He sets the controller onto the coffee table and now his full focus is on me. I feel like crying. "Oh c'mon, you can tell me. What is it?" I dont mean to sound like a bitch but I'm overwhelmed. "Michael, it's nothing." Each time I answer, a huge part of me hopes that he'll just stop asking, but an even bigger part of me knows that would never happen. "If it's nothing, why can't you just tell me then?" He's not giving up and as mad as I want to be, I can't. I blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. "It's. . . It's birth control." Now, I feel like crying even more. I just lied to his face.