Fix You

XXVI.

Calum's POV

I was waiting in my car for almost an hour before Michael stormed out of Alex's house. He looks paler than usual and I can already tell things did not go well. His eyes look wet and he hasn't said a word since he got in the car. "Is everything okay?" Obviously not but I don't even know what to say. It makes me feel horrible seeing him like this. "Just drive, Calum. Please." I'm really concerned about my best mate as we head back home. I haven't been able to stop thinking about what Alex wrote about Michael and I feel awful for not saying anything to him. Would he actually want to know? I don't know if right now is a good time to consider telling him. I have no idea what went down with Alex, so I'll just wait for him to tell me.

Whatever did happen, I know it wasn't good. This is how he would get randomly on nights he'd miss Alex while we were touring. We'd go to a party, drink, and I'd always be up with him as he slurred his words reminiscing on the times with Alex. She is all he has left here. His parents pretend to care about him now only because he's successful. One night he literally made himself sick over her. It was one of the nights he skyped her and he would sit there and point out the smallest things she was doing. Nobody loves Alex more than Michael. His love for her is so real and she brings out so much good in him. No matter how he tries to deny it, he is obsessed with every part of her. He's always tries to play it cool so he can keep her friendship but little does he know, she clearly wants more. I'm going to feel like such a douchebag and he'll definitely be mad at me for snooping, but I have to tell him.

Alex's POV

Its been an hour since Michael left and I haven't stopped crying. I just let the only important person in my life walk out of it and I have no idea what to do. I want to be left alone forever. I don't deserve to have Michael in my life, so I don't blame him for leaving. I start playing with the bracelets on my arms trying to ignore the urge to harm myself. Michael was right. I never once considered his feelings. I'm so selfish. I did all of this to myself and I want to die right here on my bedroom floor. There's a knock at my door and I know it's my mom. Before I can even form words she lets herself in. "Honey, what happened?" She kneels down beside me hugging me tight and holding my head. She immediately checks my arms and I can hear her heart racing. I don't know what to say so I don't say anything at all. "Everything is going to be okay, sweetie. I'm here."

I feel sorry for anyone that has to deal with me. My mom has been so patient through everything even though I make her worry sick. She's constantly pushed me to make other friends and be happy in life, even though she knows the bond I share with Michael. But she's been here the whole time and I love her so much for it.

She grabs my face as my tears finally start to dry and she begins to cry. "Alexandra, please tell me you didn't take anything, honey." She's starting to cry more and it pains me to known I upset people like this. "No,. . . I promise." I tell her and I hear her whisper 'oh thank God' as she pulls me closer to her. I want to be left alone but knowing my past, my mom won't just leave me here.

Everything Michael said to me hasn't stopped replaying in my head. How could I never sense that he was in love with me? My heart swells at the thought of him keeping all of this in for so long. I've really messed everything up. The night I heard that song changed everything for me. That was when it hit me that with Michael is where I belong. I don't want or need anybody else. He is my person. And knowing that he's felt the same way for so long really hurts me.

I'm sitting on my bedroom floor with my knees against my chest. I don't wanna do anything. I never wanna leave my room. I want to be with Michael, alone and just never take advantage of him again. Soon enough he'll be gone and I won't see him for a really long time. Then again, I'm not sure if I'll even ever see him again.

I find the energy to change into pajamas and lay in the darkness of my bedroom. I've run out of tears to cry so I'm laying here feeling completely broken and empty. I look down at the X on my finger and I try to cry but nothing comes out.