Fix You

IX.

Alex's POV

The past few days have been pure misery. School has been fine but work has been physically draining the life from me. Not to mention, I haven't stopped feeling awful about lying to Michael the other night. I know I have to tell him the truth sometime, I just don't know when. I also can't stop thinking about how attracted I felt to him the other night. I've never experienced that feeling before towards anyone, especially my best friend. I've always thought Michael was attractive, but it wasn't until the other night that I started thinking sexually about him. I've been having the hardest time figuring out just what it was.

I haven't seen Michael, or any of the other boys since that day and I'm looking forward to the next time we'll all be able to hang out. I sit in bed staring at the ceiling for a minutes as I try to wake myself up when my phone vibrates on my nightstand.

Calum: ALEX! Will you go to the beach with me for a jog? None of these fuckers want to go.

I instantly laugh at Calum's text and jump out of bed. I look at the clock on my nightstand and it reads 8 AM. The sun is shining through my window and I start to feel really happy that Calum texted me.

Me: Of course! I'll be there in 20!

I get to the boys' house and Calum and Ashton are the only ones awake. "Oh good, you're here. I'm gonna go get my runners then we can head out." Calum says walking into his shared bedroom with Michael. I sit on the counter in the kitchen as Ash prepares his usual Vegemite toast, shirtless. "So, how come you aren't going with Cal?" I say to Ash, kicking my feet back and forth on the kitchen counter. "Cause he's a dick." I can tell that Ashton is cranky but he giggles at his own remark. His smile is so contagious so I can't help but laugh with him. Calum closes his bedroom door and heads to the fridge for a water bottle.

I head to the beach with Cal and it's practically empty. We jogged around for about an hour. Eventually the sun got too hot, so Calum took his tank off and attempted to throw me into the water. At one point, he asked me if he could give me a piggyback ride while he jogged to work out his legs more. And now here we are, both sweaty as can be and passed out on the sand with noodle legs. He sits up and I help wipe the sand that is sticking to his sweaty back. The way the sun is hitting his skin has me in a daze and I feel myself blushing. What is my problem?

Calum sits hugging his knees, looking out into the ocean. "Did anyone tell you about my nudes?" He breaks the silence with a laugh. "Omg what? No!" He pulls a beanie onto his head and continues. "I honestly thought you would've heard about it." I shake my head, feeling really guilty and he continues. "Awhile ago, I met this hot girl after a show and we got on really well. I got her number and we ended up texting alot. So one night, I was hanging out with Ash and sent her a video of my dick. It was stupid but whatever. Anyway, somehow the video was leaked and now my dick is everywhere." I feel terrible listening to Calum's story but he seems so okay with it. "Oh my god, no? What a bitch!" He laughs again, and his smile is making me smile. "It's not a big deal, I have nothing to be ashamed of." He states confidently. I still can't help but feel awful knowing someone that Calum really liked did something so harsh. I start to think about all the other things I've missed out on that everyone else knows about. "I guess that's what happens when you hook up with random girls." He adds with a smirk. "Nice to know everyone is losing their virginity except me." I playfully chime in and Calum's face goes blank. "It only happened a few times but anytime we could get blowjobs, we wouldn't oblige. I'm sorry if that sounds bad." He says sincerely. "No, I get it. I'm just surprised you guys actually had enough game to fuck anyone, really." I crack up laughing and Calum blushes. "Shut up, we didn't all fuck random girls. It was mainly getting head, but Michael didn't do anything."

My stomach is starting to hurt and I don't exactly know why. "Michael, as in Michael Clifford, didn't have sex with anyone?" Calum laughs at how surprised I am. "Don't get me wrong, tons of girls offered but as far as I know, he's still a virgin." Calum's words really shock me. Michael has always been a really sexual person so I just assumed he'd take any chance he could at losing his virginity. All of the lads seem so much more mature and I was definitely under the impression some of it had to with experiencing sex. It doesn't bother me, I just would've expected Michael to be the first one to lose it before the rest of the boys. Instead of being the only one who still has it.

"Have you been working out more while we were gone? You look so good, by the way." Calum changes the subject and I have a huge smile on my face. "Actually, yeah. I've gotten really into yoga and jogging at least four times a week. It keeps my mind at ease." He's so attentive and his compliment really made my day. I can't stop thinking about how good it feels to hear that. "I was gonna say, you were out running me earlier. I had to step my game up." He adds and I laugh. I have felt really good about myself lately so I'm so happy that Calum noticed.

"Hey Alex, can I ask you something? Please don't get weirded out by this." Calum says with a serious look on his face. "Anything, what's up?" He looks down at his feet and is fighting eye contact with me. There is a long pause before he finally speaks. "Is it true that you got your nipples pierced?" He bursts out laughing and I hit him with my t-shirt I have rolled up in my hands. "Yes! Did fucking Michael tell you?" Calum is still laughing and I start to feel embarrassed. "Of course he did, I didn't believe him though. I'm sorry for laughing, its just kinda funny." I'm starting to feel a bit discouraged but all of the boys always tease me so I should be used to it. "You've just always struck us all as being so innocent. And that is not so innocent." He's still laughing at me and I'm trying not to break a smile. I can't help it. "I hate Michael." I say as Calum laughs some more. He stands up, shakes the sand from his shorts, and reaches down to help me up. He immediately pulls me in for a hug and he feels so warm against me. "Awe, I'm sorry. I bet your nipple piercings are cute. Me and the boys missed you a lot, so we just have to tease you." His words hit me like a bus and I try not to show it. I'd take any of them teasing me over not having them around at all, anyday.