Fix You

XXXII.

Alex's POV

As I sit in watching the boys rehearse for their next tour, I start to reflect on the past week. I wonder if Michael told any of the other lads about our fight, or even about what happened to me. Nothing feels awkward with them so maybe not. But they could just be really good at hiding it. I have absolutely no idea what Michael and I are right now but I do know that I love kissing him. I wasn't expecting to come home from uni and see him in my bed, still naked. I got butterflies the minute he said hi to me in his raspy morning voice. I loved waking up to him this morning and I wish it could be like that forever. I leaned on his chest and just admired him asleep next to me for a bit because I couldn't help myself. I'm in such a great mood today and it's all because of Michael. Receiving oral sex from him was unlike anything my body has ever experienced but I know that's not why I'm in such a good mood. We've always been extremely close with one another but today I feel so much closer to him. Maybe it's the way my heart melts when he looks at me or how his fingers feel intertwined with mine. I don't know what it is but I'm obsessed. I can't wait to talk with Mikey later. Confusion is cloudimng my mind so I hope we can figure things out. I want to know every last feeling he has for me and I'm dying to just pour my heart out to him.

I go into the bathroom while the boys go over some songs and admire the slight damage Michael did to my chest. I had to put on his flannel in order for none of the boys to ask questions. But as I stand here admiring it, I realize that Michael is right. I do love it. I remember that the word IDIOT is painted on the back of his flannel and I instantly recall scribbling the same word onto my notebook. It could just be a coincidence right?

Now that I've had a taste of sexual activity with Michael, I can't help but crave more. When he told me he didn't have a condom last night, I was a bit disappointed but so relieved at the same time. It terrifies me when I think about losing my virginity but there isn't anyone I'd want to take it more than Michael. Losing my virginity is the least of my worries, I just want to feel intimate with Michael. I want to be as close to him as humanly possible. I wanna know what he likes and what makes him tick. The thought alone causes a burning in my chest.

After the boys are done practicing, Michael gets a call and goes into the other room. Cal lays on the couch next to me wrapping his arm around me. "How'd we sound?" He asks grinning at me. "Amazing, as always," I lean into him and Luke giggles taking off his guitar. "You're too nice. We know you actually meant we suck," Luke says and Michael walks back into the room. "Everything okay, Mikey?" Ash asks him before I get the chance to. "Yeah, just my parents bugging me to house watch while they go away this weekend," he says to Ash then turns to me. "Is it okay if we go there tonight? I can drop you off if you don't want to," he says nervously messing with his hands. "No, that's okay. I don't mind at all," a smile peeks across his face and he goes into his shared room with Calum to grab his stuff. "You guys aren't staying tonight?" I nod, nervously placing my hands in my pockets. "Sorry, I'm taking him from you guys again." I feel bad because I don't want to hog all of Michael's attention. "No worries, we just need him for his guitar playing anyway," Luke chimes in with a laugh. Michael walks in, flipping Luke off, and we head to the door. Michael seems really frustrated when we get in the car and I'm hoping he'll tell me what's wrong before I have to ask. I'm assuming he's annoyed with being pressured into going to his parents house or maybe he feels like rehearsal went bad. It's bothering me how quiet he is, so I reach over to grab his hand as a subtle way to let him know I'm here. He sighs with his focus on the road and squeezes my hand tighter. He stops by my house and I run inside to grab some clothes. My mom stops by the door as I eagerly run up the stairs to my room. "Honey, where are you headed?" She asks yelling up the stairs. "I'm staying at Michael's parents house with him all weekend," I never go anywhere besides school or work so I'm not used to her asking. A huge smile crosses her face and she kisses my cheek. "Have a good time! Tell them all I said hi!" I just know she can see how happy I am and I hope I never have to worry her again. Seeing her smile at me like that makes me feel even better.

I rush to the car rummaging through my bag, making sure I have everything. I feel really giddy and excited to be spending time with Michael. I hop into the passenger seat tying my hair into a ponytail, now that the back of my neck is sweaty. "Sorry, I took so lo-" I try to explain when Michael interrupts me. "Alex, will you be my girlfriend!?"