Fix You

XIV.

Michael's POV

I'm aware of the type of friendship Alex has with the boys and I, but I can't help how much it bugs me seeing her in Luke's arms. It doesn't help the fact that I've felt like shit all day and of course, she's snuggled up to gorgeous Luke. It kills me because I know he's way more attractive than I am. What am I saying? It's probably nothing. I can't see Luke trying anything with her. The fact that I'm drunk is no help. I wanted so bad to wake them both up so they could stop being so close. But I didn't because she's not my girlfriend and I just can't be mad. So instead I'm just laying in my dark bedroom listening to Calum snore as I try to avoid the idea of Luke and Alex. I hate that I even feel like this. I guess this is what I get for not sharing my true feelings with anyone. I can't be mad at Luke or at Alex. But it doesn't change the fact that I feel even more insecure and I wish she was in my arms instead. I think I'm going to be sick.

Alex's POV

I wake up to the sound of my phone going off and I panic. It takes me a second to realize what day it is and where I am. I sit up and see Ashton on the other side of the room asleep. I instantly recall watching a movie with Luke last night and now I'm in his bed. But where is he? My chest is already pounding when I remember that Michael is probably in the next room. I must've fallen asleep on Luke last night but how did I end up here? Yesterday was physically and mentally exhausting so its no wonder I passed out so early. The house is quiet and I'm hoping none of the boys are awake. I feel scared to face Michael when I know I shouldn't. I walk into the living room and see Luke's long legs hanging over the arm of the couch. Luckily, I don't have school or work today, so I'm not entirely worried that I stayed the night. A huge part of me feels the urge to go into Michael's room and kiss him good morning and cuddle up next to him. But that just can't happen because we're supoosed to be best friends and I hope I haven't ruined every chance of that still happening.

I remove my shirt and make Luke's bed for him. I tie my hair into a ponytail and grab a laundry basket from the hallway outside of Luke and Ashton's room. I go around the house collecting any pile of dirty band shirts, flannels, or black skinny jeans I can find. I know the boys will be pissed but I just have to clean this up. I feel really anxious because since I stayed the night, I wasn't able to take my medicine. I'm feeling a bit off so hopefully, cleaning up the boys' place will help.

I manage to organize Luke and Ashton's room all while Ash is fast asleep. I organized all of their instruments and studio equipment without Luke even budging on the couch. I head to the laundry room, grabbing the last basket of their clothes, and I run into Ashton in the kitchen. "What the hell are you doing?" He asks and I start laughing at his intense lion hair. "Your laundry." He tries to grab the basket from me but I resist. "You did not have to do that, seriously." Ashton is so sensitive. He's so fatherly and is so considerate of everyone around him. But I don't mind helping the boys out, I realize how hard they work. "Well I don't mind helping you guys out." He smiles but I know he's so annoyed. "Yeah I know. I just don't like you cleaning up after us." He smiles again and it causes me to smile. There is just no fighting an Ashton Irwin smile. "It's no big deal. I like cleaning so just let me help you out." He heads to the coffee pot and puts bread into the toaster. "Okay, fine, but you're still so annoying." He teases and I laugh.

I head into Michael and Calum's room and the sight of Michael sleeping gives me a sharp feeling in my chest. My eyes are glued to his bare back and I don't wanna keep staring but I'm frozen. I try to be as quiet as possible as I tidy up things around the room and hang up all of their clean clothes. Luckily the boys rooms are pretty small so it's not much to clean up anyway. I look over at Michael as he rolls over onto his back, and I instantly notice the hickies all over his collar bones. Shit. I really did a number on him. He lifts his arms up over his head and my knees go weak. Suddenly, my mind is clouded with dirty thoughts and I just need to leave this room.

My chest is heavy and I gather myself before joining Ashton back in the kitchen. I don't want him to see that something is wrong and ask questions. I've become too good at lying. Maybe not taking my medicine was a bad idea. Staying here was just a bad idea. I'm freaking out. I let Ashton know that I have to leave without any explanation and I get into my car to head home. I didnt want to but I broke down into tears when I got into my car and I cried my eyes out the whole way home. It's finally starting to hit me that I'm falling in love with my best friend.