Fix You

XV.

Michael's POV

I slept really late today and I'm blaming it solely on being hungover. I get up to pee and I see the other boys fucking around by the couch. They're being so loud and I have the biggest headache. Why the fuck is everything so clean? I don't remember the whole place being spotless last night. Well, I don't remember much from last night, actually. For some reason the only thing that comes to mind is finding Luke and Alex asleep on the couch together. I need to get out of this funk. I need to convince myself that she is my best friend and that's all it's ever going to be. But she really fucked me up when she decided to kiss me. Whatever, I need to get over it. I love her so much and I can't lose her. So I'm just going to fix all of this as best as I can.

I walk into the kitchen to get water and Calum immediately notices me dragging my feet. "Mate what happened to your chest? Are you alright?" He calls out in front of the other boys. Fuck. I'm clearly not thinking straight because I didn't put a shirt on to cover the hickies. Ashton walks in the kitchen to check on me and starts to shout obnoxiously. "Who the fuck gave you a bunch of hickies? Jesus." I should feel cocky talking about how someone marked me up this much but that someone was Alex and I just want to stop thinking about it. "Nobody, so shut the fuck up." I say playfully grabbing my water and downing it in seconds. Surprisingly the boys don't bombard me with questions so they must've sensed some seriousness in my tone.

I head back to my room and all of my clothes are folded neatly on my shared dresser with Calum. The jeans I literally took off last night are clean and folded with the rest of my clothes. Everything is spotless and surely none of the boys did this. So obviously Alex must have. She seriously takes such good care of all four of us, even when she doesnt need to.

I decide to call her to see if she'll come back over to help me dye my hair. I know she'll be up for it, I just hope she isn't already busy.

Alex's POV

I've been laying in bed all day, completely miserable. I haven't stopped crying since I got home. It was difficult to look at myself in the mirror and not feel so much self pity. I never thought something like this would ever happen. I just want my old friendship with Michael. It's hard for me to ignore the fact that I'm ruining everything. I'm in my bathroom washing my face to rid of some of the puffiness and my phone rings loud inside my room.

It's Michael and my stomach sinks. I feel the urge to ignore it but I just can't. I clear my throat and answer. "Hello?" I say into the phone and my voice is raspy, knots in my stomach. "Hey babe, are you doing anything?" His term of endearment puts a huge smile on my face. "No, of course not." I laugh. "Why? What's up?" Things don't feel awkward and its making my heart smile. "I need help dying my hair. Are you down?" I should've known his chocolate brown hair wasn't going to last long. "Yes, definitely! Give me a few minutes and I'll be over."

I cover my eyes with makeup as best as possible to avoid any questions. I don't know if hanging out with Michael is the best idea right now but I have hope things will get better between us. It has to.

Michael answers the door and hugs me really tight for a few seconds, not saying a word. I love the way his chest feels so close to mine and his arms around my waist. "So what color are we doing, Mr. Clifford?" I ask as we enter the kitchen. "Bleach blonde. That's what Luke told me to do so it's what I've settled on." I laugh thinking about all the damage Michael does to his hair and yet he still pulls off any color.

After almost two hours of immense treatment, Michael's hair is totally blonde and I'd say I did a pretty good job. "Dude, this rules. Thanks babe." He says with a cheeky smile messing with his fringe. I'm busy cleaning up the bathroom and Luke pops into the door way. "Calum really wants brownies but we don't have any stuff. Will you guys go get some?" He asks. "Yeah, of course. Do you want anything else?" Michael is quick to reply. "No, I think we're good. Thanks man." Luke says with a big smile on his face. As I finish cleaning up the hair dye treatment, Michael runs to change. He stops by the bathroom, wearing that black Snapback and a tinted gray jumper, with the car keys in his hand. I can see my markings on his collarbones again peeking out from the top of the shirt, but I try to ignore them. "You comin?" Michael smirks as I take a minute to stare. It's as if he know he's killing me. No, no. I need to stop thinking about him like this. "Love you guys!" Luke yells as we leave out the front door.

I haven't said a word the whole car ride. I feel so tired and it's a bit colder outside than usual. These denim shorts are just not cutting it. I have my head leaned against the window trying so hard not to stare at Michael and fall more in love with everything about him. I don't know how I let myself get like this but in all reality, he is too good for me. I just need to keep telling myself that we are best friends and that is all it will ever be. I really fucked things up by kissing him. I can't remove the taste from my lips. I mess with the bracelets on my wrist to calm my nerves and he breaks the awkward tension by resting his right hand on my thigh as he drives.

Fuck.

"You okay?" He asks with so much sympathy in his voice and he gives me the cutest smile.

"No, I'm not okay. I've gone out of my mind missing you and now I'm in love with you. I hate who I am everyday and I've been lying to you about so much because I'm afraid you'll hate me. I'm a terrible person but I'm not supposed to say that about myself. I haven't gotten your naked body out of my head for two days and I masturbated while moaning your name yesterday. I cry in the shower, I cry in my car, I cried every day you were gone and I've cried everyday you've been home. So no, I'm not okay at all." is what my gut was telling me to say but instead, I kept it simple.

"Yeah, I'm just tired."

Michael looks over at me in a quick glance still rubbing my thigh. A glaring light flashes in front of us on the dark road and his sight is blinded. A car horn blares in our ears and the car swerves.

"MICHAEL, WATCH OUT!"