Break The Best Friends

Chapter 28

Everyone comes into your life for a reason, some for good and some for bad, they may shape us, break us, but in the end they make us who we are.

I read this somewhere on the internet. Tumblr, perhaps. I am not sure. But what I am sure is that, those words really have a great impact on everyone's life. Everyone in this world would really have this one person – or probably more – that meant the world to them at some point in their life, but they would have ended up ditching them for something more unrealistic and false.

Axel came into my life for a reason. He gave me some good memories, well some bad too, but I wasn't going to think about them now. He taught me to love unconditionally and learn infinitely about trusting a person blindly. He shaped me into this bold girl that I was now. He broke me alright, but with that he broke that fragile, weak and timid girl part of me too.

After I broke up with him, it had been a roller coaster of a ride to me so far. I went camping in a closed zoo after visiting time, I had left to take a stroll in the middle of night, I had jumped into a fountain in the middle of a mall, I had got drunk; they were nothing the Caroline before Axel would do. He made me who I was today and honestly I love the new me better than the old, timid me.

I have a lot of people in my life. I have four brothers for God's sake. I had a lot of friends, a second family with Augusta, Zack, Kade and Kyra. I had a best friend and his family that loved me to bits. But none with me now when I needed them most. This is my problem anyway, I should be the one to solve this. I cannot keep depending on everyone to help me out of this situation. It was unfair of me to do so.

I was the one that loved him. I was the one that ended up with a broken heart when he cheated on me. So, I must be the one to demand him for answers. I cannot make others do that for me.

Love is the most powerful emotion a human being can experience. The strange thing is that almost nobody knows what love is. I didn't know too. Why is it so difficult to find love? This would be easy to understand, if you know that the word 'love' is not the same as one's feeling of love. I can say 'I love you' to two different people with different emotions behind my words.

What I felt for Axel was not the same that I felt for others. My love for him was pure and sincere. But it was all in the past now. I don't love him anymore in that way. I love him like I love my friends, but there was no more romantic love between me and him. That was not possible at all because I have changed, as he has. I am not anymore the girl that fell in love with him; I am not the girl that he fell in love with and this applies to him as well – He was not the Axel that I fell in love with either.

"Hey, you alright?"

I blinked and looked to my side to see Luke looking at me with an unreadable look in his face. He held me by my arm as he pulled me to a stop. I looked around and realized that we were inside the cafeteria already.

I must have been zoning out. Again. I sighed. I have been doing that a lot since yesterday – or is it today morning.

"I am fine," I forced a smile onto my face and tried to assure Luke, but he looked like he didn't buy me, so I continued, "I didn't sleep well last night. What with the horror movies and all? I'm damn tired and that is why I keep zoning out. Were you talking about something? Because honestly I wasn't listening to it. Would you care to repeat yourself? I am sorry, but-"

"Caroline," he cut me off with a frown, "Shut up. You are blabbering."

"I am sorry," I sighed and rubbed my forehead with the back of my hand in frustration. Luke didn't look like he bought the tired story as well.

Theo rolled his eyes at me from Luke's other side, "Come on, Care. You don't have to apologize. We all know you tend to ramble when you are tired," he tried to smoothen my lie and turned to Luke, "Luke, man, why don't you go get something to eat for her. She didn't get anything packed for lunch. Maybe she would be a lot better to handle after she has had something to eat. I will take her to our table."