Tabula Rasa (Unlike Loki: Book Two)

Chapter 46

(By)

I could barely stand it anymore.

Why was this so damn hard?

I was in love with her.

And she was in love with Loki.

Hell, they had literally been made for each other. What ever made me think that she would choose me? Sure, I had never confessed my true feelings for her, but that didn't mean they didn't still exist.

And in my heart, I knew that I was more of a father to Leolin than Loki was, yet I had never seen that child's eyes light up the way they did when he saw his birth father.

My heart had shattered into a million pieces.

I had come here, to work for the Queen, for Anna, when she had been crowned. She had seemed so lost and so alone and so sad, her eyes filled with a never-ending darkness.

That's when my whole life had been flipped upside down and shaken up. I had never planned on marrying Anna. I knew that was not possible with my position. As much as anyone envied being the King, of having his own throne, it just wasn't realistic. I had ended up settling for the crazy, insane, lust-filled relationship they had. I had never been jealous of Torren, though, because I could tell that Anna never actually loved him. She had tried to convince herself, but was never actually successful.

And then there was Loki.

Loki who had to, once again, come back from the dead and fuck everything up.

Damn.

And I couldn't hurt Loki, couldn't get rid of him, with out hurting Anna. If she lost Loki again, she would never recover and I would loose her forever.

I had left my birth home long ago, hoping to find some kind of purpose.

I thought I had found it.

Now my life was even more screwed up than it had been.

And then there was the fact that Leolin had been abducted by a demon child, and I had no clue where he could be. We only had a short time, I knew that. I was pretty sure who had been controlling Talia, but I was not going to speak his name, for fear he would hear it.

Hopefully I was wrong.

But deep down, I knew I was right.

And that terrified me more than anything.