Tabula Rasa (Unlike Loki: Book Two)

Chapter 2

(Anna)

It was odd, thinking of myself as engaged.

I watched as Torren walked towards us, his gait strong and confident. He was a handsome man, his hair a light blond, laying on his shoulders. His brown eyes met mine, sparkling, his tan face stretching into a wide smile.

"And how are you today, darling?" He asked, taking Leolin out of my arms.

"Please, Torren. How many times do I have to ask you not to call me that?"

"I don't see why you have such a problem with it."

I didn't have the heart to tell him that his attempt of affectionate words only reminded me of Loki. And in particular, the moments leading up to his death

When I had killed him.

I shook my head, knowing that I didn't have to explain myself. "You're uncle came by again today."

"I really think you should listen to him, An."

I groaned in frustration. "I will not put restricting laws on the people of Asgard. It's ridiculous. Millenias of existense without such laws. I will not change that now, especially when it has worked so well in the past."

Leolin began to squirm in his arms and Torren set him down. He ran off, simply to jog up and down the halls with his little legs, laughing as if he were having the time of his life.

Torren looked at me sweetly and walked up to me, folding me in his arms.

I had met him at my Coronation Ball, just after Loki's funeral. He had danced with me, as had almost every other man there. It was a custom. But Torren was the one who had stood out the most. He told me that he had been appointed the new leader of the guard, taking over Borin's spot on the war front. I immediately noticed how attractive and kind he was. But I wasn't 'in' to him. Hell, Loki hadn't even been dead a month. I was still an emotional wreck.

But seeing as the leader of the guard and the ruling leader had to spend a lot of time together, planning for the armies, I got to know him well. He had been raised by his uncle, who was a lord, and was the one trying to get me to make laws. Torren had a younger brother, in his teenage years and an older sister who he didn't see much, but advised me to keep my distance from.

One night, he asked me on a date. Plain and simple. I obliged him, and we had a good time.

But he wasn't Loki.

We had continued to see each other though, making a go of it. When he proposed, with a rose in his hand, I accepted. I liked him alot and he was good to me. He was good to Leolin. And he left my past behind me.

That had been two years ago.

The first time we had lain together, it was awkard and sloppy, and painful. He didn't seem to remember that I was not used to such activities and was not doing it for the lust. I was doing it for the connection. Because I cared about him. I layed awake that night, laughing in slight misery at the way my life had turned out.

24 years old and nothing but a little boy with a dead father to show for it.

We eventually set a wedding date and it was rushing up on me. It was still a solid six months away, but that would be here before I knew it. I wasn't dreading it, I was just nervous. Nervous about how things would turn out.

We had been through a lot together as well.

About a year ago, I got pregnant again. We were happy. Happy that Leolin would have a sibling and that we were going to have a child together.

I lost the baby about two months in.

I woke up in the middle of the night, blood covering the sheets, knowing immediately what had happened.

It was one of the many horrid events that were engraved in my vision whenever I closed my eyes, filling my dreams with nightmares.

Life was good now, though. I was content.

But I was still oh so sad.