Tabula Rasa (Unlike Loki: Book Two)

Chapter 41

(Anna)

Tears immediately came to my eyes.

Not even five years old, and my son was already a hero. He fought for love an for peace, without actually having to fight. He could simply show others so that they understood. And it wasn't just about making them understand, it was about transforming them and leading them so that they could find the light and the honest good in the world.

I tried to wipe the blood from Talia's face as she wrapped her arms around me, holding me the way a daughter usually held on to her mother. It was painful when I realized that I felt sympathy for her, but felt no responsibility or care for her. In my heart, I did not feel like she belonged to me. Had I really grown that cold? Or was my heart and judgement clouded by her very, very, VERY, recent past and the things I know she had done and was planning to do?

Did, somewhere deep down, I believe that she was trying to trick me? To trick all of us, that on the outside, she appeared to be the little girl she was supposed to be, but on the inside was still the girl she had been raised to be? Evil, demented, cunning, and maniacal.

Tears came to my eyes because I was afraid. I wanted her to be a little girl, not a monster. Because she reminded me so much of myself, not only because she was biologically mine, but because she had been raised and tortured and pushed. The difference between us was that I had been saved before I had turned over to the so-called dark side. I was afraid that we were too late.

And it's not that easy to walk away from the darkness.

I still saw the look in Loki's eyes that sometimes reminded me of when I had seen him angry, when he had bloodlust in his eyes. I knew it was not a personality that he liked of himself. It was a part of him that reminded him of his mistakes and that he wanted to bury deep inside himself. But, every now and then, those terrible hands reached out of their grave and took hold of him again. The past refused to stay buried, no matter who you were.

I was no different.

"Anna?" I heard By behind me. I could hear the suspicions of my mind in his voice.

I ignored him, and wrapped my arms under Talia, picking her up and standing to my feet. She was so light, and seemed so fragile. She really was my daughter. But I had to be careful. Because I meant what said, about your family being those who raised you. I did not raise Talia, someone evil and terrible did.

"Don't make me go back." I heard Talia suddenly whisper.

I shushed her, trying to keep her calm, and told her that I would never make her go back. I made eye contact with By, and I nodded at him, telling him that I knew what he was thinking. He brushed the long hair out of his face.

"Now what?" He asked quietly, reaching down and taking Leolin's hand.

I smiled sweetly at my son, proud but still worried. "We keep her somewhere safe, and then we stop Mangog and his followers."

By opened his mouth, about to respond when Talia jumped, screaming, "NO!"

I nearly dropped her. "No, what?" I asked her. She was shaking, looking at me with extremely wide eyes, her fingers digging into my neck.

"He'll kill you." She whispered creepily. It was just now that I noticed she had Torren's eyes. I felt a pang of guilt as I realized that I had never actually mourned Torren's death, that I never felt the need to.

"We'll figure it out." I told her quietly.

And then Talia began screaming bloody murder. I cried out in surprise as she continued to scream, making my ears ring. She put her hands to her head, squeezing tight, her knuckles and fingertips turning a bloodless white. She screamed and screamed, ignoring my words as I tried to comfort her, tried to quiet her. I set her down and her legs gave out, and she fell to the ground, kicking her legs violently and screaming still. Tears fell down her face in waves, but her eyes remained shut tight. I called her name, told her that I was there, that everything was fine, to open her eyes. I tried everything, but she just continued to scream.