Tabula Rasa (Unlike Loki: Book Two)

Chapter 27

(Loki)

I looked at her as we walked down the hall.

She said she had a surprise for me.

"What?" She asked when she saw me staring.

I stopped walking and pulled her hand to make her stop with me. She looked up at me with confused eyes. "What has happened since I've been gone?"

Guilt covered her face, and her mouth opened slightly.

"No. No, I didn't mean it in that way." I didn't want her to think that I was angry at her for trying to move on.

She sighed. "I was engaged to the man Mangog possessed."

Engaged. "Ah. I am sorry for your loss."

She looked down at her feet. "I didn't love him. Honestly. It was like he was just there to fill up some of the empty space, but not all of it. I feel guilty when I realize that I didn't mourn his death. He was kind, really, but could be controlling sometimes. He wasn't a bad guy." She looked up at me. "But he wasn't you."

I played with the back of her hand, not quite knowing how to respond. I had told her that I wanted her to move on. And it had been half a decade. I was happy she had tried, but felt guilty at the fact I was happy that it hadn't worked out. Her face blushed.

"And there's something else." She looked at her feet again.

"You can tell me anything, love. I will not get angry. I have no right to."

She chuckled half-heartedly. "I've been having an affair. Or I was. It stopped somewhat recently. With By, my assistant."

That stuck. "I see." I felt like I should say more. "Why? And why did it stop?"

She pushed her hair back. "I- I wasn't...satisfied... by Torren. There was that adventure, the wit, the release, missing. So in came By. It stopped when Torren and I started to get along better, not too long before he was possessed." She played with the hem of her sleeve.

"Why him?" I asked. I didn't know how I felt at the moment. I couldn't say I felt betrayed. But jealous, jealous that this 'By' got to hold Anna in his arms, agaisnt his body. That he was the one who comforted her, pleasured her. I should have been here.

"You'll think this is weird, but he honestly reminded me of you." She glanced up at me and then looked at my chest. "I don't know why, but he does. I guess that drew me too him. But all that's over now." Her cheeks were still flushed.

I used my finger to lift up her chin so that she was looking at me. "Stop." I told her. "Stop feeling guilty." I lightly brushed my lips on hers, not quite kissing her, teasing her. She smiled against me slightly, and I crashed my lips down on hers. She smiled foolishly, and put her hands on my face, kissing me back. I held on to her waist, happy to taste her.

I didn't care what she had done when I was gone. I had been gone. It was her life. She was trying to figure it out. And now she didn't have to. It made me glad to know that I was the reason why.

I pulled away from her, brushing her soft, pale cheeks. "Let us have a Tabula Rasa, it means-"

"A clean slate, I remember." She smiled sheepishly at me, and I kissed her again.

***************

"Come on." She pleaded, leading me like a child through the halls, leading me who knows where.

"Where? There's no way you could have a surprise for me. You had no time to prepare." I followed, pulling back on her, making her have to work to make me follow.

She laughed. Really laughed. "I didn't need to prepare." She kept dragging me.

She stopped a few paces from an open door and told me to wait, her face glowing. She poked her head inside, pausing, and then she slowly stepped inside. After a moment she came back outside, a confused look on her face.

"What's wrong?"

"Hm. Nothing. Come on." She started pulling on me again. I followed, laughing.

She led me to the throne room. The guards pushed the doors open, letting us in. I could tell they were trying not to stare at me. I ignored them.

Anna stopped and I looked around. On the throne steps was a man, about my height, maybe shorter. His skin was almost translucent, and his jet-black hair was as long as Anna's, and pin-straight. He glanced over at me, almost nervously, his blue eyes sparking.

He should be nervous. The King was back from the dead.

He was playing with a small child, pushing a golden boat around in the air. He let it go and it fell for a moment and then lifted back into the air. Most Asgardian toys did that, enchanted with magic.

And then I realized that the toy had been mine.

The boat floated over my head, and I watched as it floated back to the small boy. The toy had been a gift from my mother when all Odin had given me was a small sword. My heart broke at the memory.

I watched as the little boy grabbed the toy out of the air. He was small, but energetic. He moved with a grace most children his age didn't have. He was light-skinned, with a head full of midnight-black hair and big eyes.

I looked at Anna. She was watching me expectantly.

I looked back at the child. He let the boat fly again, and he spotted me. Or maybe Anna, I couldn't really tell. His eyes grew wide and he began to run in our direction. I stood my ground, not quite knowing what to do.

I was surprised when I found he was running straight towards me. The man who had been with him stood up, a slightly angry look on his face.

Almost on instinct, I bent down to the ground, ready to pick up the child in my arms. His small hands were outreached towards me and jumped slightly, hooking his hands onto my shoulders. I scooped him up, folding my arms underneath him, holding him up. He looked at me excitedly, his face close to mine.

He wrapped his arms around my neck and burrowed his face into my neck, much the same way Anna did.

"Daddy!"

My heart almost stopped.