Tabula Rasa (Unlike Loki: Book Two)

Chapter 49

(Loki)

"You're joking." Thor said as he lay on the large cot in the infirmary. He was covered in dirt and grime from the dungeons, and his clothes were still soaked with his blood on his side.

The physician had patched him back up and had shooed away all the spirits, or whatever you chose to call them. He would live, and that's all that mattered. Anna and I told him about our plan to ask for Jotenheim's help, and he nearly had a heart attack.

"Of everyone you could ask for help, you choose them?" Anna kept having to push Thor back down to the bed, telling him that he would ruin the Physician's hard work. She kept glancing my way, signaling that she had been right when she told me that it would be a bad idea to tell Thor about our plan. He was furious with us and couldn't seem to understand why we were doing what we were doing.

"Thor, it's our best chance." Anna told him quietly, once again pushing his chest back down to the cot, making him wince. His blond hair was greasy and tangled and he seemed to have forgotten how to blink.

"How? There are plenty of others who would help you in this matter. Why pick Frost-Giants, of all people?" He looked sad, as if he thought we were about to destroy ourselves. Maybe we were.

"I know, but who else would have valuable information for us? Who could tell us where our son possibly is or who he's with? This may not be the safest idea, but it is our best option. We can bargain. We will bargain. I will find my son, Thor, even if I die trying." I told him sternly. He couldn't stop me, and I wouldn't let him. But I would much rather have his support in this matter.

He was silent for a moment. His eyes slowly moved between me and Anna, his jaw set in a hard line. "Do not trust him. Do not bargain too much. And do not try to decieve him. He's not like Laufey, which makes him more dangerous, because he is smarter. He's much like you Loki, so watch what path you take with him, for he will be trying to compete." I nodded my head at Thor's words, a weight lifted off my shoulders at his approval, however hesitant.

There was a light knock on the door frame behind us. "Your Majesties." I turned my head and my eyes burned red at the sight of By. "I have sent your letter to the King of Jotenheim. It shall arrive as soon as possible." He bowed his head slightly as I glared at him.

"Thank you, By." Anna said kindly. I was not jealous of the relationship they had or may still have. But I didn't trust By; there was something off about him, as if he would soon explode and ruin everything in his wake.

I didn't want my precious Anna to be around when it happened.

He nodded at Anna and, when she turned her back to him, looked at me, signaling me to follow him into the hall. Odd. I nodded and then walked to follow him, slightly touching Anna on the shoulder on my way out. In response to her confused look, I simply told her that I would be right back. I let her hair fall inbetween my fingers, the soft texture making me remember the first time I had touched her. I smiled sadly at her and walked out.

"Time we talk, come clean. Man to man." By said, the moment we stepped out of view and out of earshot.

"We could, but I am a god, where you are a peasant. There is no man among us." I said flatly.

"Don't, Loki. I am done trying to compete with you." He said harshly, his eyes hard on mine.

"How dare you." I said, walking towards him quickly. "How dare you use my name. How dare you come in this palace, this kingdom, and make a bigger mess of everything. How. Dare. You." I spat.

He reached out and roughly pushed me back. I was surprised by his strength and how far I stumbled back. "Stop. I love her, I will not deny that. I didn't plan on it, but I gather that you didn't either, when you laid eyes on her. But I also will not deny that her heart belongs to you and to you alone. She is yours! And as much as I hate you for it, I will respect it. I am done fighting you. Because your son has been taken and you and I both have a very good idea as to who probably took him. I love the boy, I've watched him grow, been there more for him than you have, just like I've been there more for Anna. Maybe I should quit being such a nice guy, then maybe someone who I cared about would actually care back! Both of them love you unconditionally. I'm just By!" He yelled, tears filling his eyes as his hands held the lapels of my jacket the entire time he spoke.

I shoved him away, not quite sure what to say. We stood in a very awkward silence for a long time.

"There would be no reason, no incentive for him to take Leolin." I said quietly, moving on to the subject that mattered right now.

"How do you know that?" By breathed. "Hes becoming more prevelant every single day. And who else could have let the souls out the In-Between?"

"How do you know so much about him anyway?" I asked warily.

"You're not the only one he's ruined." By said, looking down.

This took me aback. I didn't expect that By had ever been tampered with. "When?" I asked.

"Before I came here. After you died... the third time." He chuckled without humor.

"What did he make you do?" I ventured. My asking By about his encounter brought back my own horrid memories. I roughly shoved them to the side, trying to ignore them.

"Nothing as bad as he made you do." He looked at me sadly.

"Care to elaborate?" I asked, pushing him.

"No. Not really. Especially since your son is still missing, and who knows what he is going through as we speak." He said curtly.

I pursed my lips. "Even if it was him, we still have no idea where he'd be. Or what the hell he wants from Anna."

"Fine, and that being said, what do you think you will gain from the Frost-Giant King? What do you think he will tell you that you don't already know?" By asked, frustrated.

"I don't know, but if anyone knows anything, it'll be him!" I said, just as frustrated by the whole situation.

"How do you plan to bargain with him?" By asked. "He loves a good deal, everyone knows that."

"I know he does. But I havent figured that part out yet." I hung my head and rubbed my face. I was exhausted and scared and angry.

"Even if he does help you, there's no guarantee he won't toss you to the side when offered a better deal by someone else." By said.

I knew he was right. "So we will have to give him the best offer." I said flatly.

"You know that's not possible. People are watching this whole thing unfold, and they are biding their time until they can throw their cards in for the best outcome." By stated.

"I am well aware of that." I said curtly. This conversation was getting us no where.

"Let me go with her, and you stay here." He said suddenly.

"I beg your pardon?!" I said, spinning to stare and him in confusion. He was as disheveled as the rest of us, his long black hair full of dirt and knots, with dark circles under his eyes on his already pale skin.

"He will take well to Anna, knowing that she can rule a great kingdom such as Asgard, and he will like her even better, knowing that she killed you. There is no need for him to know that you two are soulmates. And he will take kindly to me because I am not you. I am not his older brother."

A part of me knew he was right, but I didn't want him to be. "He should thank me, as had I not done what I did, he would never have ascended to the throne of Jotenhiem!" I said, trying to find an excuse.

By stared at me, knowing what I was doing.

"I will take care of her, Loki. Nothing will happen to her." He said quietly.

I walked away, my face set hard to keep the tears away.

"I should hope so." I called back, just loud enough for him to hear.