Tabula Rasa (Unlike Loki: Book Two)

Chapter 24

(Loki)

I held her hand tightly as we walked to the throne room.

I couldn't stop looking at her.

She was alive and well, with color in her cheeks and a bounce in her steps. I had conflicted emotions about her well-being though. Her immense joy was obviously from me coming back, and that thrilled me, to see that she was even more in love with me than she was the last day she saw me.

The day I died.

But on the other hand, I was worried about how she had held up. Was she happy? Did I interfere with anything? Was she depressed, lonely? Had Thor taken care of her the way I had asked?

I wouldn't have been so worried about her if I had simply died. But nothing about my death had been simple. The love of my life had been forced to kill me, which I wouldn't wish on anyone.

We found Thor waiting for us in the throne room, excitedly bouncing on the balls of his feet. He turned around, grinning like a child when he saw us. "Shall we?" He asked, pointing to the sitting room that was connected to the throne room by a set of doors. I hadn't seen him this excited in years.

Anna skipped around me, leading me to follow Thor. I smiled gleefully at her and followed.

The room was large, and lightly lit, just enough to see by. There was a large fireplace buring on the south wall of the room, giving the place a warm glow and a comforting feel. I let go of Anna's hand and she went to sit by Thor, bouncing on the plush cushions.

They reminded me of children, ready to listen to a story.

I guess I couldn't blame them. I had literally come back from the dead. I had learned things and experienced things that very few people got the chance to tell others about. They were happy to see me, just as I was happy to see them.

I stood there awkwardly, for a moment, standing in front of them. "So..."

Anna smiled at me supportively and Thor leaned forward, resting his arms on his legs.

"I don't even know where to start." I said quietly, looking at my feet.

"Start at the beginning." Anna said, then added sadly, "Or the end."

I slowly walked over to Anna, making her scoot over so I was sitting in between her and Thor. I patted my lap lightly and she automatically laid her head across my lap, looking at me with those starry eyes of hers. I held her hand on her stomach and looked between the man I had grown up with, the man I envied and the woman I had fallen in love with.

"So the beginning of the end..." I swallowed, closing my eyes.

************

"I died. I truly did. I was scared, but relieved that it was over. The pain and the fear was gone. It was black for a while, total darkness. I remember it, but in my mind, I just accepted it, it didn't bother me. It was like I was floating without my body. And then I started to see lights, small and unthreatening. The soon turned into shapes. They were ghosts, ghosts of people and creatures and animals, and demons. They surrounded me, but ignored me, floating around. I looked down at myself and noticed that I was one of them. Everyone was the same white-gray color, like what you'd imagine ghosts to look like, but we were all solid, tangible. I don't think I was confused, just accepting. Then, one man walked by me, taking me in, obviously recognizing me. "It's not Valhalla." Was all he said, and walked away. After that, others seemed to notcie me, giving me odd glances. For a while, I though I might be in Helheim. But I also figured it would be worse, with punishment for the crimes that had been committed during one's lifetime. But then others would pass me, whispering something. It took me a while to understand what they were saying. And that's when I finally figured out where I was. I was in the In-Between. I was not dead nor alive. And I could go either direction if I had enough will to do so. I remember a hand on my shoulder, and turning around to see a large beast. 'You are the one.' He said. 'You can't die if the other child kills you.' Then, he simply walked away. That's when the whole situation clicked, when I remembered what had happened. The spell broke because the demons, our biological mothers, saw me die. But they apparently didn' t realize that one child could successfully kill the other."

I felt Anna's breathing quicken, just slightly and I heard Thor sigh quietly.

"I watched as most of the ghosts simply wandered. The demons that could never die fought each other to see who the first to get out would be. I saw Mangog, fighting the others, but not as hard, when he suddenly disappeared. I knew, somehow, that that wasn't possible. I knew I had to find out what had happened. I searched, running, if that was what I was even doing. And then I saw two glowing green orbs rush towards me. I felt him go through me, this general awarness of what was happening around me was astounding. He was so dark that he blended in with the darkness around us. He had gone from a solid-like ghost form to a whispy black wind. 'You're lucky you're not King of Asgard anymore.' I heard him say. And then he exited the In-Between. Just like that. I knew immediately that he was heading back for Asgard, to destory it somehow. He was coming for you." I looked at Thor and squeezed Anna's hand, referring to both of them. "I also knew someone had helped him get out, I just had no idea who."

I took a deep breath. "If he could get out, then so could I."

"I began running around, shaking people, asking them how to get out."

"They began to chant: Fight, fight, fight."

"So I fought."

"I fought demons and monsters and old enemies. I couldn't kill them, but I could hurt them, just long enough for me to get past them, somehow knowing which way was out. It hurt. If I am being honest, it truly was painful, fighting in a non-physical form." I closed my eyes, trying not to remember the pain.

"Time passed differently there, so when I brutally fought my way out, I wasn't far behind Mangog. I headed straight for the window of your room, praying it wasn't too late." I didn't tell her that when I saw her, I knew that I was only moments from being exactly that. If I ever failed to save her, I would never forgive myself.

Anna sat up and hugged me and Thor patted my shoulder. "We are glad you are here, Loki." Thor said, tears in his eyes.

"I'm so, so sorry for what I put you through." Anna whispered, her voice shaking, the sound of tears approaching.

"I'd go through it again, any day, if it meant I got to stay with you forever." I told her quietly.

"Forever." She whispered back.