Tabula Rasa (Unlike Loki: Book Two)

Chapter 11

(Anna)

Torren was furious.

"YOU LET HIM GO?!"

I raised my eyebrows at him, in an 'excuse me?' gesture. "I did."

"Why would you do that? He broke into the weapons vault!"

"I grew up with him, Torren. We were bestfriends. We made an agreement. End of story."

"Not end of story!"

I groaned. "What had been up your ass lately?!" I yelled, exasperated, frustrated.

"You! you've been in this mopey depression for five years, Anna! get over him already! I haven't seen you smile or laugh around me until today, when some thief you apparently knows shows up!"

I slapped him.

My whole body was trembling, steam coming out my ears. "Don't. You. Dare."

"What?" He rubbed his cheek. "Speak badly about a King who was never supposed to be King? Who was never actually an Asgardian? Who everyone hated because he was evil and sadistic?"

My hands were shaking, my fingers digging harshly into my palms. "Because you're so perfect." I growled.

"I am compared to him! He's dead, Anna! Yes, I understand you loved him, but move on! Your still so wrapped up in him, that I never get your attention." He lowered his voice. "I want you Anna. The real you. Not the leftovers."

I had nothing to say. There was nothing I could say that would make him understand any of it.

I shook my head, trying to keep the tears at bay.

"I love you, Anna. I just wish that I felt that you noticed I existed. That I'm still here." He stepped forward, his arm extended. I stepped back, not letting him touch me.

"Don't."

"Anna-"

"Don't."

"Help me understand. Help me understand why you can't move on."

"Because I killed him!" Tears erupted from my eyes. "My brother's held him down, possessed me, and forced me to drive a knife through his heart!"

His face turned pale and slack. "I-"

"Yea. You didn't know." I spat.

"Anna, please."

"No." I held my hand out to him, telling him to stop.

I walked away, trying to wipe the tears from my eyes and to force my body to stop shaking.

**************

"I'm sorry." I heard an hour later.

I was sitting in the library, watching the candles flicker.

Torren came and sat down beside me. He took my hand gently in his and kissed it softly, then set it in his lap. I leaned over and put my head on his shoulder.

"Me too."

"You have nothing to be sorry about. I should have made more of an effort. We've been growing distant from each other."

I played with the knees of his pants, not saying anything.

"From now on, I swear to you that I will make more of an effort. And I will be patient. I will support you in everything I do."

I reached up and kissed the corner of his mouth. "Thank you." I whispered.

We sat there until we fell asleep.