I Dont Date Blondes

C H A P T E R T H I R T Y - N I N E

We sat down outside on the balcony in chairs opposite to each other.

Noah was staring out across the gardens and seemed very separate from the here and now. "Do you want to talk Noah or we can just sit in silence? I think talking is maybe the reason why you came?" I asked.

"I don't know why I came to you Juliet" he said and then shook his head forcefully before I could say anything, his jaw tightened slightly as he continued "I came to you because I need someone and you're the only person who I can relax around and am thinking maybe you'll calm me down".

I watched him closer, his jaw was taught, his back tense, his eyes a shade darker than usual and slightly emotionless. "If I can help I will" I said quietly.

"You text me and asked what happened but I ignored you" he said not looking at me but he continued, "yeah but understandably if it's making you this upset then you don't have to answer that at all" I replied,

"It's not making me upset" he started, "it's making me feel angry, crazy, tired, on edge and guilty" he said in a rush. He ran his fingers through his hair and tugged.

I placed my hands on his and watched them relax as I pulled out his hands from amongst his hair, "Can you tell me what the problem is?" I asked still as quiet and calm as before.

He looked at me for a moment, almost searching for something as he then sighed, "what would you do if you and you alone thought..no..knew your mum was cheating on your dad?".

My eyes widened slightly as I watched Noah watch me for an answer, "you know?" I asked, "Are you absolutely certain?".

He laughed sarcastically, "certain? As certain as the texts, emails and meetings that exist" he spat,

"Oh" I mumbled, "how long have you known?",

"Id been suspecting something was up for about 3 weeks" he mumbled, "dad has been in New York for a work conference and I called mum to see how she was doing and she seemed off" he seemed reluctant to continue with the story,

"Noah you don't have to explain it to-",

"I have to" he said. "So yesterday I drove down to see her and a car was in the driveway and I quickly text you just in case I got held up in conversation with my mum. I didn't recognise it but it could have been anyone? I didn't need to knock obviously as I have keys and I can then hear voices upstairs, a man and a woman. I knew damn well that dad wasn't home so I went upstairs. She didn't see me but I saw them, fuck I saw them and I don't know what to do" he said running his hands over his face.

"Oh Noah I'm so sorry" I said pulling him into a hug. He looked vulnerable. He looked so vulnerable that it was hurting me.

He hugged me tight and the tension in his back, unmistakably whatever he was feeling, was rolling off of his back in waves.

"Half term is coming and dad isn't coming home because of the conference, I can't stay with her and how can I see him knowing what I know?" he exclaimed still holding me.

"I can't pretend to even understand how you're feeling and I'm sure your mind is running at 100 miles an hour and I can't make this choice for you" he pulled away from me as he heard the end and I continued,

"but I can offer you this. Advice. That there can be no mistake on your part. Whatever you choose to do is the right thing, you know your family better than anyone and if you think your father deserves to know then that is right and if your mother deserves another chance then that is right too. There is no wrong answer but there is no easy one either and whatever is done is done and you and your family can move on."

I wasn't sure if my advice had helped him one bit as he then then pulled out a white envelope from his pocket,

"Juliet you always know the best thing to say but I'm not struggling in deciding what I want to do, I'm struggling to decide if I can actually do it" he shook the white envelope in front of my eyes,

"This is a ticket to New York" he whispered.