The Devil's Sister

Chapter 29

After explaining everything to Laviana, I lie down on the couch and close my eyes thinking about my mom. The last argument that we had.

We were on our way home from the movies when I brought it up.

"So I was thinking about this in the shower," I had said. "If my child was disabled in some way and I had the job that I hope to get, I might put them up for adoption." My mother gasped beside me. "No, listen to me. If I get the dream of working in law enforcement, the hours are crazy. 9 to 7 and if your boss wants, more. And if I become a lawyer, knock on wood, my hours would practically be endless. If my child has special needs, I won't be able to give them the attention that they need."

My mom looked at me with wide eyes and her mouth was open. "Terrible," she had muttered over and over again.

"Listen to me," I pleaded. "I wouldn't want to give my child away. I'm not a mother but I know what it feels like to give up something that you love and care for, and it only intensifies when it's your child, but I have their best interest in mind. Mentally or physically handicapped or not, I don't want my child to think that I don't love them, and if my baby is mentally or physically handicapped, I don't want them to ever feel as if though I was ashamed of them so that's why I'm always working."

My mom had shook her head and kept muttering 'terrible."

"Oh my God," I said, already exhausted. "You're so closed minded! Listen to what I have to say to you! I'm not going to give my child away just to get rid of them, I would give them away so that they have a life I could never be able to give them. What would you do if you worked from nine to seven plus hours and your husband also had a job?"

"I would hire a nanny," she said. "Let them take care of my child and then I got home, or my husband, we would spend time with the child."

"That's another thing," I said. "The child will form a bond with the nanny, not you. If both parents worked lot, the only person the baby would see is the nanny and that's their only real family since they're the most frequent person in their life. You and your husband are just mere acquaintances. If I put my child up for adoption-"

"-I'll take it," she cut me off.

"Really?" I said, startled. "If you take care of it and then I could-"

"But you would never see the baby again."

That shattered me. She had to see that I was thinking about how this child wouldn't prosper if I hadn't given them up. But if my mother adopted my child and wouldn't let me see them again? I never realized how cruel of a woman she was.

"I can't believe you," I said. "I couldn't take care of them! I did what I believed would give them the best life they can have! There are many kids out there that aren't with their real parents, and they are doing great! There is a difference between putting a child up for adoption because you can't take care of it, and because you don't want to."

By the time our argument ended, we were home and had parked our car in the garage. I quickly got out and started walking inside only to hear my mother calling me.

"Kykuna, help bring these inside."

I looked at her, bewildered. "No. You completely disregard other people's opinions and feelings because it isn't what you believe."

I start walking upstairs but hear my mother's voice again. "If you go, you know I'll drag you down by your hair."

I bit my lip and then clenched my jaw, sealing off my emotions. I walked into the garage to help her take in the groceries, only to see the car empty.